Hernia Repair And…..A Tummy Tuck. It’s Happening.

Tomorrow I am getting my hernia fixed and a tummy tuck.

I’m very excited but I’ve debated blogging about this decision for ages.

Why I’m nervous to share this part of my life?  I can just imagine people chiming in already with  “love yourself for who you are” “embrace the mummy tummy” blah blah blah.

So why blog about it?

1. I share a lot of my life online with you all, and I pride myself with being open and honest with you all. Basically I try to keep it real.
2. If I didn’t share this I would feel dishonest, like I was hiding something. That doesn’t sit right with me. This I a personal space, so it is just pointless if I don’t share personal changes in my life. There are definitely some things off limits, but this isn’t
3. I have already shared my previous experience with plastic surgery. 
4. I want you to realise that it’s ok to do something like this for yourself. I’m not saying everyone has to get rid of excess skin, if you are happy with it then that’s awesome. But if you’re not, and you want to do something about it then that’s ok too.
5. I feel there is so much pressure either way on women these days, you can’t win. People being made to feel embarrassed that they are “vain” enough to want to make a change, to feeling extreme pressure to accept their tiger stripes and be proud of them. Which is funny, because I don’t mind my stretch marks at all, they don’t actually bother me and yes, are a visual reminder of the amazing thing my body did, grow and carry twins. For me it’s the excess skin that they cause that has lead me to this.

6. Why I’m getting this done?

7. It all started with my hernia. I have one in my groin which is really strange for women to get during pregnancy. They usually get them around their belly button. But mine is a complication from my c-section and still suffering from hyperemesis. The constant heaving and vomitting caused a tear in my abdominal wall. It can only be fixed via surgery. I put it off for the last 3 years as it wasn’t causing me too much pain yet and the recovery would be tough with small very dependent babies.
8. The last 6 months it has gotten worse and worse, if I sneeze or cough now I have to hold the area to stop it protruding and if I move in certain directions (twisting etc) fast it is such a sharp take your breathe away pain. So time to get that sucker fixed.
9. My excess skin has bothered me for 3 years now. I literally can feel it on my lap when I sit down. It gets in the way of how I dress. I know a lot of you will think I’m crazy and don’t think I have this tummy at all, but I hide it well. I have naturally very slim legs/ams etc so people always tell me I’m being silly when I say my midsection is a problem. I wear baggy tops, dresses, nothing from fitting to hide my “issue”.  It’s been a problem even when I have been much lighter than I am now, the skin just gets in the way. Jeans are a nightmare, to buy jeans that fit my legs I get massive issues with the skin on my stomach spilling out everywhere…but to get jeans that fit around/accomodate that skin they are massive on my legs and actually fall down constantly.
10. The two procedures can be done in one go as the incision for the hernia repair is the same area as the TT. Ideal. I also have the hernia part of the operation covered by ACC as it’s a complication from the c-section. So it just seemed right to combine them and have the down time all in one hit and have some of the hospital/theatre costs etc covered.

11. So there it is, I hope you are all supportive during this time. I can tell you I won’t have the energy to deal with anyone making snarky comments about it and they will be deleted.  Trust me, I do love myself, this isn’t going to make me love myself any more (I’m very good at accepting not so ideal things about myself, hello full body hair loss!). It’s just a step to make me feel more comfortable in day to day life, literally. I won’t have something dragging me down around my middle. Oh and I can tell you now I can’t imagine doing before and afters as it’s not about that for me.

    So, I’m going to be stuck in a jazzy recliner power chair I have hired for the next few weeks, so hit me with some good tv series recommendations that I can get stuck into. I’m going to have ALOT of spare time!

Breakfast Bun On The Fly - Recipe

As a mum of two young and rambunctious toddlers I’m always looking for easy, but delicious breakfast option for the Nuggets, Jay and I. I personally try to avoid Gluten where possible, looking like I’m pregnant with a second set of twins isn’t fun, and that’s how gluten affects me. Flat tummy one moment, painful bloated one the next.

So when Vogels got in touch about their new gluten-free wholemeal buns I was happy to try them out and whip up a recipe, if you can even call it that as its so easy. This is a take on one of our friend’s dishes they served us when I was pregnant, they called it Ghetto Satay Eggs and it’s delicious and easy peasy.

So here it is, simple, easy Satay Eggs.

Get ready for it…

Step 1, toast lightly your buns in the oven or toaster so they are warm (but ditch this step if you are in a rush)

Step 2, butter your Bap and then cover the base in crunchy peanut butter. For my big boy I add chilli flakes as Jay likes all things spicy.

Step 3, fry an egg

Step 4, pop your egg on the bun, close and serve.

BOOM I told you it was easy, I know it sounds weird but it’s such a good combo and because it’s served in a bun the boys can take it in the car if we are rushing out the door. Which lets face it, is often the case! It’s easy clean up too, no mess or fuss. Trust me, please give it a whirl and let me know your thoughts. If you are down with gluten then try it on toasted Vogels bread, just as delish!

You're pregnant with twins...What Next?

Holy shit balls, you are pregnant...with twins! Now what?! I often get asked what I did to prepare once I knew we were having twins, so I have pulled together a few top line tips of what we did in the lead up to the birth of the Nuggets. Luckily we found out at 6 weeks so had PLENTY of time to get our heads around it. It's amazing how many people still don't find out about their being an extra baby till their 20 week scan. Imagine? Or pre scans when people didn't even know till they were suddenly birthing a second baby, talk about shock factor! 

First things first, sit down, take a deep breath and start trying to wrap your head around carrying, birthing and raising siblings born at the same time. I'm not going to lie, it's a big task so best to start mentally preparing yourself for it, it will be hard but it will be bloody awesome too! You will cry, have moments of despair, how can I keep doing this etc, but it will ALL be worth it. It's true what they say, double the love, double the kisses and double the gorgeous moments. You really are lucky to be on the journey to life with multiples, twins, triplets or whatever as they are really a blessing. If you are reading this and thinking fuck off Anna, this is a total stitch up and not what I wanted at all just trust me, I felt the same way. But one day you do look at your tiny humans and think god I'm the luckiest mama on earth, I may take a little while like it did for me, but that day will come for you! So just hold on tight till you get there.

The scan that showed not one but two Reeve babies

Support - Having support is one of the most important things with having children let alone multiples. Some of you may not have any family close that you can rely on but you will have friends. Let them know early on that once the babies arrive you would like them to come help hold them while you shower, vacuum, fold washing, watch them so you can have a nap and to cook. It may seem like a lot to ask but it's not, if they aren't happy to help in that way then, well, they are a pretty shitty friend and you should be given the boot! You're fabulous friends who are happy to do this just need direction, so by asking/telling them what you need help with early on sets the precedence and helps give them the info they need to help you out with your new life. Trust me, you should use all the help you can get! A tip my friend of multiples told me was that she got everyone to text her partner to organise visiting times, that way she didn't have to deal with the influx of messages, organising times so there wasn't too many people at once or politely decline if that day really was a day that you just needed to hibernate away from everyone.

Stuff - There is going to be a heap of baby stuff, bottles, pumps, cots, capsules, car seats, nappies, wipes, clothes the list goes on. I laugh when some well-meaning person told me I didn't really need two of everything. Because other than sharing clothes and toys as they get older, you really need double the amount of anything you would need for a newborn. A lot of people wait till later in the pregnancy to start buying things, or purchase a lot after their baby shower so there is no double ups. I would start buying early, spread those costs out as much as possible. If you are having a baby shower then make a registry, i know it can feel weird specifically asking for things bu it will help people make better decisions and you will end up with items you actually need/want. Now with all this stuff comes lack of space, start organising early, de cluttering and figuring out where you are going to put all this stuff.

Ask - Do you know someone who has twins? Doesn't have to be a good friend, they could be a friend of a friend or someone you knew that went to your school. If the answer is yes, get in touch, send them a message and ask for their advice, tips, tricks and ask as many questions as you have. I knew no-one who had twins and since I have had the boys I have been that person for so many people who have come out of the woodwork that I have known somehow. Twin mums can give you advice that other parents who had singletons (such a weird word I never thought I would use till having twins) don't have and they are always happy to share and will go out of the way to help you out as they know first hand just how tough it can be! Your friends with one baby are awesome support too, but they just don't know how to settle, breastfeed or carry two babies at once. Your twin acquaintances will give you invaluable advice. This leads me to my next point. What to do if you don't know anyone with twins....?

First Aid - Look after yourself! Your body is going two/three/four babies and we aren't really designed to do that! Its tough on the body so listen to it carefully. My best advice is to see a womens health physio from early one, they can help you with exercises to help your stretching muscles and ease aches and pains you are having, Physic combined with an Osteopath really helped me when I was in agony from back pain. I see Stacey at RE:AB in Ponsonby and couldn't recommend her enough. She is amazing! If your tummy is getting rather large and heavy a support belt like a smiley belt can really help take a load off, think of it as a bra for your expanding tummy!

Join- Join your local multiple birth club and their corresponding Facebook groups. There are thousands of members and they are all very active and supportive with helping new mums out with their twin wisdom. Whats even better as when you are up feeding in the night and wanting to know something, chances are another twin mum will be online too. It's funny how many conversations are had in those groups in the wee hours. You can find a list of the clubs here and they are usually about $30 to join. You can join the FB groups without being a paid member but it is worth becoming one as you get a box of Huggies when your babies are born (that is your $30 back right there), you get discount codes for so many different brands/baby stores and heaps of extra support. There is a great event they hold every few nights called "New Parents Evening" where members of the club spend a good few hours giving advice on your pregnancy and the newborn stage. It's really nice to hear all the things they have to say and helps put your fears at ease. Jay thought it was going to be "boring" but I dragged him along and he was so glad he did go as it really helped him figure out his new role as a twin dad.

I have such a tendency to write really long blogs and the reality is that this is the tip of the iceberg with what you need to do to prepare, but anything that I haven't covered off will be brought up or brought to your attention by doing the above. If there are any other specific questions you have then post them below and I can pull another post together to answer them all.

Meals For Mum - Amazing Online Support Network

Today I was added to a closed Facebook group, nothing new to that right? What I found was an incredible group of women who are helping other mums in times of need. It was set up two weeks ago and now there are over 6,000 members and its growing fast.  The premise of it? To help mums all over the country in times of need with meals or baking. I know there are companies that do this, but sometimes its hard to arrange it quickly, cater to dietary requirements and have restrictions as to who are eligible.  This group is set up to help anyone in a time of need and it doesn't have to be for financial reasons only. Women have been asking for help and people are instantly coming to their aid. It's so heart warming to see this community of people really taking the time to help others, warm fuzzy feelings all around. Sometimes some home baking or a great home cooked meal is all it takes to make someones day, week or month! So check it out, join here and see if there is anyone in your neighbourhood that could do with a helping hand.

The ladies who created it were even on Breakfast this morning, you can check it out here. 

Video - My 5 Minute Everyday Makeup Look

I'm no makeup artist, and I don't wear a lot of makeup during the day unless I know I have somewhere to go/someone to see. I often get asked what products I use when I do have makeup on so thought the best way to show you all was to film myself. This is my 5 minute quick makeup look, my routine is a little different to the average person, I'm not using mascara for obvious reasons and my eyeliner is rather heavy to create depth giving the illusion of lashes. If I spend more time or wear shadow, I smudge out the eyeliner to give it a softer look with a create liner and shadow.

My brows are tattooed and I fill them in, I'm still learning as I never used to draw my brows in before I had them, whenever I tried they would end up wonky! Not a good look. You can also see a faint line of black around my eyes while I have no makeup on, I had them tattooed when I was 20, it has faded but it was never quite right so I always still lined them.

So hear we go, my first foray into filming myself. After the video are all the details about the products I used, some are old favourites and some are newer items but all my absolute favourite things to use day to day at the moment.

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Elizabeth Arden Superstart

This is something new I have been using and I really love it! In short it helps support the surface layer of your skin - whereas most of the products you use are usually made to support the lower dermis layer of your skin - so it makes your skin's surface look really healthy, smooth and supple and it helps the products you apply after it work to the best of their ability. I usually apply it before moisturiser and serums, but add it as a priming step before wearing the following foundation.

Elizabeth Arden Prevage Anti-Aging Foundation

As mentioned above, the reason I wear Superstart before applying this foundation is because this foundation is a new formula that holds anti-ageing properties. If I'm wearing foundation it's nice to know its actually doing something for my skin at the same time! The Superstart helps the Prevage foundation do its thing! Added bonus having Alopecia, can blend my foundation right out so there are no lines at the hair line.

M.A.C Mineralize Concealer

My favourite concealer, such a dewy finish and never creases in the delicate skin underneath the eye. I always apply it with a brush and pat it into the skin. Some people apply concealer first, but a makeup artist told me years ago to do it after your foundation, that way you can see what that doesn't cover and go from their. Otherwise you run the risk of going OTT on the concealer trying to cover every little blemish that your foundation may have covered anyway.

M.A.C Trip The Light Fantastic Powder

When I fist saw this blush I thought it would make me look so orange..but turns out it is the best blush I have ever used! I used to always go for pink blushes but turns out orange/red based blush is my jam. Never have had so many compliments on my rosy cheeks since I started wearing this.

Elizabeth Arden Sunset Bronze Highlighter

If you follow me on snap chat you know how often I talk about this highlighter, it's my favourite and looks so beautiful on. Sadly it's limited edition so get it while it is still in stock! I have bought 4 of them so hopefully they last me a long time!

Elizabeth Arden Natural Brow Pencil - Brunette

I bought this gem at Farmers in Mount Maunganui when I was down there visiting my in-laws as my previous pencil ran out. It's the perfect colour for me especially when jumping between my lighter and darker wigs, it seems to suit all of them and never looks too light or dark. After 23 years with no brows, I'm still a newby to filling them in but getting better by the week!

Mac Boot Black Liquid Eyeliner

I have been wearing this eyeliner everyday since I was about 14, it's my go to and always goes on perfectly. Its super pigmented (i like my eyeliner jet black!) and doesn't move throughout the day.

Urban Decay 24/7 Glide On Eye Pencil

I bought this at Duty Free when travelling to Australia and month ago and I'm loving it, its very black and once it sets it's waterproof and doesn't move. I hate having to re apply makeup through the day, it's not my thing so my favourite products are ones that go the distance.

Elizabeth Arden Eight Hour Cream Lip Palette

Eight Hour Cream was one of those staples I grew up with, my mum always had it and I was forever stealing it. Perfect to use on anything that needs some help combating dryness. I still use it regularly and loved when I saw it in a coloured lip palette with 3 hues, all the moisture with a hint of colour and in a really easy handbag sized palette.

Is there any other videos you would like to see me film? Everyone seems interested in my wig so thought you may like to see how it all work and how I put it on?

Weaning two boob loving boys

Weaning was something I was worried about but looking forward too all at the same time. After a few initial bumps in the road I found the process of breast-feeding reasonably easy, but didn't really enjoy like a lot of mums do. The boys were two hourly feeders for a long time and I felt like I constantly had them attached to me, for them then to go and puke all that milk back up - thanks reflux! I basically felt like I was on a roundabout of feeding that I couldn't get off. So after 6 months I was done with it, I wanted to get to a year but it just wasn't something that made me happy anymore.  I was told the easiest way to wean was to drop a feed every week/few days or day, whatever time frame worked with you. I started with the night-time feeds as those I already liked to share with Jay by pumping and us feeding them with bottles, it also one of the feeds that is "most comforting" to the boys, so would be the hardest to get them to give up if I left that till last. Over the course of their sixth month I dropped a feed once a week till eventually I was just feeding them in the morning. The morning feeds lasted for a few weeks then one day they just weren't interested in the boob anymore and that's it, off they went on their happy way to their new relationship with the bottle...and OH MY is it a deep and loving relationship!

I have to say it was a relief when it was done and it wasn't a battle, I had had enough battles with Collic and Reflux! So nice to have some personal space back and not two wriggly babies grappling for my boobs!

The boys are 2.5 now and for the last 2 years those Nuggets have LOVED their bottles. More than they loved my boobs, which was another huge love at that! Bot Bot's as they are commonly referred to in our household have been a life saver in so many situations.

From 6 months till a year the boys drank Heinz Nuture formula, but as you know it's expensive so as soon as they hit 1 I moved them onto cows milk. We were lucky again the boys loved cows milk and were happy to ditch the formula right away. We started the boys on Silver Top Anchor milk as it is partially non-homogenised, which means it's closer to it's original form and full of fat, great for growing boys! Farmer backgrounds on Jay's side of the family were very happy with this decesion as it wasn't something that had occured to me utnill they mentioned it.

At about a year and a half I toyed with the idea of dropping bottles all together, all the articles I read said it would be easiest to do it at this stage rather than waiting and that they didn't need them anymore. BUT I was far too scared to do it, the bottle was such a source of comfort for them. If they woke in the night and I couldn't settle them (which was very often) the bottle would calm them right down and off they would go back to sleep. Who wants to give that up? Not this twin mama, sleep and calming tools are so important to me! Looking back now we probably should have done it, as the boys are still obsessed with their bottles and there is no way we will be getting rid of them anytime soon.Which makes me feel guilty like I didn't make the right decesion and I should have gone through the hard yards then, as now it will be MUCH harder as they can talk and demand a Bot Bot.  The boys go through on average between 9-11 litres of milk a week! We have a second fridge in the garage that is devoted to holding all their milk. We moved to Anchor Blue when they hit 2 as they decided they liked to have their milk cold (fussy little men) if they had it during the day. The fatty cream in the Silver Top meant that it wouldn't flow through they bottles if it wasn't warm.

Bottles is one of those crutches they have now that I flip-flop between feeling bad about or not caring. I mean it's a great way for them to get a big dose of calcium, when they are whiny and having an off day I can give them a bottle and get 10 minutes of peace (great for my sanity), it settles them in the night if they are having a bad sleep and well, we never had dummies so it's not like they have lots of other crutches we have to get rid of. But at the same time I stress about it thinking are they too old to be having bottles, is it bad for their teeth,  the added cost to our weekly shops, cleaning all the bloody bottles, is it just a habit and could it get worse? I just generally have the typical mum guilt thinking the main reasons I want to keep the bottles is because it makes MY life better. Funny the internal battles we have right?  Doesn't make it any easier when you get the "oh they are still having bottles!" comments!

So for now the bot bots stay, screw what people think as they do make my life easier and the boys love them. Can't be that bad right?  Have you had bottle loving kids and how did you get them off them? Weaning from bottles is going to be way harder than it was weaning from the boobs!

Boobs, Boobs, Boobs

I have had quite a few requests for a blog on my experiences breast feeding and since I like to please, here it is. One thing we need to cover off before I get into the nitty gritty of breast feeding, is I have implants. Not a secret, it's been written about in magazines before, talked about on TV in a really embarrassing reality tv show I did when I was in my early 20's, but I haven't talked about it recently. Since the Nuggets have arrived I have a new group of followers/readers and you probably weren't aware. For the people who knew I had them, that's usually their first questions when we talk about breast feeding. How did you breast feed when you have implants? It's one of the biggest misconceptions about implants out there, that it means you won't be able to breast feed. My doctor assured me then, as I always knew I would want to breast feed, that unless I wasn't naturally able to breast feed myself, then the placement of my implants would not affect that. It's funny how so many people instantly think it's a write off, even my OB was worried I wouldn't be able to feed.

Anyway I digress...when I first was pregnant I knew I would want to feed and was aiming for a year. When we found out we were having twins I still wanted to feed but knew it would be a tougher journey.

Fast forward 34 weeks and the nuggets made their early entry into the world. After my emergency  c-section I was told to squeeze my boobs to collect the colostrum.I barely remember it, but Jay said he would hover over my boob with a syringe sucking it up and after every squeeze I would fall fast asleep. Apparently it was rather hilarious! The amount of colostrum I collected really impressed the nurses and was a good sign that I would be a milk making machine, which it turns out I was luckily.

I was still vomiting for about 2.5 weeks after birth and was paranoid my lack of nutrients would affect my supply, but I'm really lucky that it didn't effect it too badly. My milk came in big time and I had beach balls as boobs, they were so full, pert and looked pretty epic if I do say so myself. Poor Jay was allowed no where near them though!

Since the boys were born so small, the first few days they would practice feeding on my breast whilst still being feed by and NG tube. The NG tube delivered my pumped milk directly to their stomach via a tube that went up their nose and into their tummy.

The nurses were great in Nicu, except one who made me feel like shit for being a little late to feed one of the boys, he was really hungry and it was then difficult to latch him. I was so ill myself I found it really unfair that she was making me feel so bad and guilty about being late (reason being I was being sick in the toilet). Last thing a twin mama wants to feel is pressure and anxiety about doing everything wrong! The rest were great and really helpful with showing me how to latch them and support their tiny little bodies next to me and my giant knockers. One of the things I had to do was pop a finger on my breast and pull it slightly away from their noses, they were so small my full boobs would squish against their face and since they were so small it would cover their nostrils, so the pulling away would give them a clear airway making it easier to feed.

Once you graduate Nicu you are sent to PIN, a ward where the babies are still supervised 24/7 by nurses but where you are meant to do all of their "cares", basically look after them like you would at home. Most babies are in there to learn how to feed properly, stabilise, put on weight and just be generally better and in a good place to be able to thrive once sent home with their parents.

I really realised once we were in PIN that I was struggling to bond with my babies and I thought nailing breastfeeding and feeling like I was doing "something" right would help. I really stuck in to figuring the whole breastfeeding out, as I figured that maybe that was the key to bonding, as so many mothers said it does.  Their mouths were so small they didn't always latch correctly, I  was having to pump to keep extra feeds available to be feed via NG tube.  I did get some cracked nipples which wasn't fun at all. I noticed it first when I saw there was blood in my pumped milk and quickly realised it was coming from the space where my areola and my nipple meet. We have a lactation consultant who works in the NICU and PIN ward, I personally found her very helpful. She was straight in there giving me these new Manuka honey breast pads to help heel them and they were a godsend. I couldn't recommend them enough. The healing properties of the Manuka in the pads worked a treat, and within a couple of days they healed and I never got any more cracks or grazes after this. The lactation consultant told me that I was lucky as darker coloured nipples are tougher and I seriously had some dark chocolate afghans going on. Considering how little pain I got in terms of the boys sucking on them, the old wives tales may be true! Thanks to my great grandmas Indian blood for giving me some tough nipps!

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Check the silly pumping video my friend Sophie took when she visited me in hospital, she couldn't believe the set up and how it really was like milking a cow. 

My milk supply was great, once those first cracks disappeared my nipples were holding up, but my god those let down pains were tough! I felt like I had needles running down my milk ducts for the first 5 or so minutes of feeding. Everyone told me feeding hurt because it hurt your nipples, no one told me my boobs would feel like they were being shredded on the inside! I'm not sure if you just get used to that pain or it goes away after you have been feeding for a few weeks, but that eventually wore off. I would just grin and bear it for the first 5 minutes until it would subside for the rest of the feed!

Sadly the whole bonding experience whilst feeding for the first few weeks didn't happen for me. I was forever trying to keep them awake on the boob, timing how long it was taking them to record on the sheets in PIN and generally falling asleep myself late at night waiting for them to finish their sometimes hour long feeds (that's two hours sitting up in a cold hospital feeding them one by one!), it was exhausting. Thats another thing no one says, they say breast feeding is handwork, but I thought that meant it was hard figuring it all out, not that it was physically exhausting to begin with. The thirst, all the extra water and food you need, the forever having something attached to your nipple, the pain of being hooked up to IV's myself and bending the joints they were placed in to feed, dealing with the boys wires and tubes and the cramp you would get from holding a baby in one place for an hour. Gah! It's funny as I originally thought I had a pretty easy experience breast feeding, as once I got it down it was pretty straight forward, but I really forgot about all of this stuff that happened at the beginning. That is  until I started typing and it came pouring out of me.

After realising I couldn't handle sitting up for two hours at a time feeding the boys one after each other, I knew I had to get the tandem feeding down. Late one night the lactation consultant had more free time to help me learn how to do it and set me up. God it was hard getting their tiny bodes in the right position and up close enough to my giant orbs, there was so may rolled pillows, muslin cloths etc going on but we did it.

I had to hold their heads up and in the right angle towards my nipples because their heads weren't big enough to lay flat and let their mouth reach me. So sitting and feeding like this for an hour (they were slow feeders to start with due to their size) wasn't exactly comfortable either. The pillow had to wrap around my sides so their legs could lay that way, as they got longer and longer it was tough as I would need to sit so far forward in the pillow for them to be able to lie down. I was forever having to shove pillows down the back of the pillow for back support and to stop it pushing forward if I sat back. I have since found a great looking twin feeding/general feeding pillow online from the states that looks like it solves that problem. Wish I had seen it when i was feeding!

Tandem feeding wasn't easy to start with, so if you have twins and are reading this don't expect it to be something you will master quickly, especially setting it up by yourself. (If you do I bow down to you). The boys were small so it would take Jay passing them to me and me holding them in place to get them to feed correctly, in fact to tandem feed it took Jay being their to help me a good few months before I felt confident enough to do it on my own, not the latching part, but actually getting them up onto the pillow and settled. Jay was amazing and would wake at every night feed to help pass the boys to me and get them on, and then take them one by one when they were done to help me burp them. I should mention here that the boys feed 2 hourly 24/7 for about 16 weeks. Those little buggers didn't get into a great 3 hourly schedule like most NICU babies and demanded to be feed every two hours without fail. There was no stretching them out as they would get so historical that they would end up being too upset to latch and feed properly. It was bloody awful! So props to Jay for being their by my side 100% for all of the night feeds, I seriously have an amazing man.

It took a visit from Dorothy Waide for me to put on my big girl panties and decide to give tandem feeding when I was alone a good crack. The boys were about 2 moths at this stage and she said I didn't need to treat them as carefully as I had when they were in Nicu. She recommend I set myself up on the couch with each of them on either side of me, pop one on and then pick the other one up with one hand and scoop them up onto the pillow. To burp them mid feed she said I should roll them off the pillow, I know, sounds WTF?! But it worked. I would kind of gently roll them off the pillow gently as possibly onto the couch and lay them on their tummy. Then you could pat their back till they did a big burp and pick them up by the back of their clothes (I know this sounds horrifying but it worked!) and lift them back onto the pillow to re latch. Imagine it being like a cat picking their baby up by the scruff of their neck. So that's how I managed tandem feeding alone while they still needed me to keep an arm under their head, so their mouth could reach my nipples. As they got older I would sit them in a boppy pillow either side of me and latch them one by one. They were bigger and heavier at this stage so I could reach for one and put them on, they no longer needed my hand for support so I could use both hands to get the second. Then eventually I could hold them both in a side by side football hold where they lay on top of each other.

I'm lucky that after those first few weeks with the pain, exhaustion of the 2 hour feeds it started to click into place for me. I'm not so lucky that the whole breast feeding experience didn't help me bond with my kids, that was a slow burn, but oh boy do I love them with everything now. I have said before that I almost, dare I say it, found it easy to breastfeed once we were established. I think the main reason behind this was that the boys latched well, I didn't continue to get pain, I made a FUCK load of milk, I could pump off 500-600ml in 20mins with no problems and they were good and quick feeders once they got bigger. BUT, and it's a big BUT, they had collic and reflux, which meant they puked everything up constantly! So while I made a tonne of milk it was hard to keep up with the demands for feeds as they were starving all the time after projectile vomiting everywhere.

I felt like they were constantly on my boob. If you know me you know I love my own 'bubble' I like my own space and me time and it was slowly driving me mental having not one but two things attached to my boob, then people like my mum hanging over my boobs watching them feed. What is it with that? I know people think it's cute and she was worrying they weren't feeding right but I'm like, back up mum, give me some space and keep your beady eyes off my boobs! (love you mum!).

I also wasn't keen on the feeding when we were in public. Don't freak, I'm not one of those people who think its gross to show your boobs whilst feeding in public, I feed them plenty of times out and about and I never covered them up. I don't care and if someone does they wouldn't walk away without a massive telling off from me. It was just the whole process took so long with two, I would have to do them one at a time. As much as I don't care about feeding in public, you can see above that tandem feeding is pretty much rolling fully topless and not discreet with my huge nipples and boobs. If we were out, which was rare, I wanted to eat my meal or whatever we were out for and not spend it sitting and feeding the whole time. So we would bottle feed either pumped milk if I had enough backed up or formula. That's something I'm not ashamed to admit, I am pro 'fed is best' and my children did mix fed during the 6 months that I breastfeed. So never feel bad if you do the same or purely formula feed. The mums who exclusively breastfeed, you are awesome and I am not trying to take away that achievement for you, but those that fed their child whatever way should be just as proud. It's not a competition after all!

Now a lot of lactation consultants or people in general stress about nipple confusion with bottle teats in the early stages. I kinda ignored that advice and feed them a bottle once a day from about 3 weeks old. I always feed them this bottle at night, the last feed before bed as that was when my milk was at its least fatty and I was tired and exhausted. I liked having the help to feed them or having Jay and another friend who was over doing it so I could have time out. Which is much needed and deserved, so don't feel guilty if this is something you want to do also. The nipple confusion thing never happened and it meant the boys were used to a bottle, so if they were away from me then someone else could feed them. I had so many friends say they gave their bottle to their baby once, they took it so thought all was fine, by the time they needed to give one to them again they weren't having it. I'm no expert but I think a bottle a day or every few days definitely helps with that issue, in my humble opinion.

I wanted to reach a year BF the boys but we got to 6 months when we went to LA to visit family and the weaning started, mum took them for a night so we could go stay at a hotel and have a lone time and they stopped being interested in the boob. To be honest I was done too. I was still having mental health issues and finding the transition to twin mum rather difficult and I just wanted a bit of "me" back. I was proud of what I had done, but I was tired of feeding only to watch it all be puked back up 2 minutes to 2 hours later so I started weaning.

I guess the point of all this is we all walk a different journey, and like Rebecca said at Takes A Village, breastfeeding is natural, as in we are made to do it, but it doesn't come naturally. Just as like I experienced with the help of a lactation consultant, it's a learned behaviour. We and our babies need to learn how to do it and it can be fucking hard. So don't be too hard on yourself ladies.

Weaning next up on the blog and why the boys still have their beloved bot bots.

The Body In Person - My Chat With Elle Part Two

Last week Elle left such a big impression on me, she was gorgeous, smart and knew every little details about her new business, Elle Machperson Body. This isn’t just lending her face to another brand, she owns 50% of the company and she is involved in every little detail. She also owns another wellness company called Well Co, which steamed out of her need of supplements that she could take on the go without carrying hundreds of bottles of different vitamins around.

She looks great, she has aged of course, but in a beautiful and natural way. Not in the typical Hollywood fashion where everything starts to look a little plastic. If I look as good as her when I’m 50 I would be over the moon!

Being so busy I wondered what her non negotiable's were when it came to health and wellness?

“Wellness, this is non-negotiable for me. I have to work at it. When I was younger I could rely on genetics. Today I really have to make sure that I have the right supplement to help nourish my body and that's why I created Well Co. I couldn't find the right nutrients and what I used to do wasn’t working anymore. She said I needed to be more alakline and needed more plants in my diet but I was finding it really hard to eat a lot of plants. I said, how do I fill my life with plant food when I'm on the run. She said, look, let's make it simple. Lets make vitamins, minerals and plant food in a powder that you can take everyday to help you. I take that everyday. I created clean plant-based protein powders. A sleep tea because I have trouble sleeping with all my travel. I really focus and make sure that I am getting my nutrients and getting good sleep. Seven hours of sleep and I drink three litres of water a day. I try to work out about 45 minutes to an hour, doing some kind of vigorous exercise or moving my body.”

She aims for everyday but she explained that doesn’t always happens, she has been promoting Elle Macpherson Body for the past 7 days so hasn’t bee able to work out at all. But she said if you give her a mountain she would climb it, that’s her thing.

“If it takes two hours I will do it. If it's all up hill I will do it, I don't mind. I did a lot of hiking over the summer. Sometimes 14/15 miles a day. The ideal day for me would be an hour of yoga in the morning, a hike and an hour of swimming in the afternoon. That would be a really great work out day for me.”

That incredible skin I mention, she keeps it as natural as possible to keep it looking the way it does.

“The most important thing for me is beauty from the inside out. I take my Super Elixir everyday. Sleep everyday. At least 50 percent or 60 percent of good skin Is there. If you neglect that it doesn't matter what you put on the outside. For me, what my experience is, it doesn't make any difference what you use on the outside, you got to do that foundation work first. I like to use Dr. Sebagh's products. I cleanse. I do use retinol sometimes. I like micro needling, I feel that does good stuff for my skin but I don’t do lasers as I am in the sun a lot. All very natural”

With 5 children I imagine it is hard to find the right work/family life balance.

“My biggest thing is prioritizing the kids. I was even laughing today. I've got five children. I've spoken to every one of them today even though I'm in New Zealand.”

Elle rattles off a long and impressive list of what all her kids are up to, test, sport injuries, a son who has two dates to the Kanye concert, which we laugh about.

“That's my number one thing. I connect with the children. I see what they're doing. How they're going and making sure they are ok. It's prioritizing the kids and my husband. I fit work in around that. If I can focus on family first everything else falls into place.”

So how does she relaxed with everything on her plate?

“I like to cook although I'm not very good, but I do like to prepare, even If I make home-made almond milk I find that really relaxing.”

Oh good, one thing she isn’t good at. She is human after all!

The Body In Person - My Chat With Elle

Not only getting to meet a supermodel, but interview one is not usually on my agenda. Usually its nappy changes, trips to the park, running errands with two sidekicks, but today I got to put on something other than exercise gear and talk with the one and only, Elle Macpherson aka The Body. Other than talking about her new collection Elle Macpherson Body, we also got to chat about health and wellness and how she maintains that incredible body of hers. It's amazing how much chat you can fit into 15 minutes, so I'm going to break it down. Today, it's all about her bras so to speak and tomorrow it's health, wellness, family and what makes her tick. 

If you’re an avid fan of her previous work in the world of Lingerie then the first thing you will notice is how different the esthetic and campaign is for Elle Macpherson Body, namely, the lack of Elle as the model.

“I felt it was time to hand the campaign on to the new generation of girls. I felt confident enough that you didn’t need me in it to sell it. The designs stand for themselves, plus she put on the bra and knickers and made them her own. It’s definitely time to let the new generation of girls make this collection their own”

I loved her response! It’s refreshing to see a supermodel, who we all know usually front their own campaigns, because lets face it, their face does and has sold millions of things to us consumers over the years. It great to see her really have faith that her designs don’t need “the body” in them to help shift them from the shelves.

A fresh approach to marketing and campaigns goes hand in hand with a new approach to design. One thing Elle thinks she failed to nail, the ever elusive perfect T-shirt bra.

“I found it really hard to design a really good t-shirt bra, because I was doing a lot of lace. Lace and t-shirt bras don't go well together. I promised my self when I started working again I was going to do something that was modern, dynamic, cool, clean lines, unusual colors, smooth and really cater for women.”

T-shirt bras the base of a new brand? I know you are thinking boring, but so does Elle, but there is good reason for it.

“I said to my partner, okay we're going to do this together but the first thing we need to do is to create the best t-shirt bra. A lot of people don't want to do that because it is boring. We're all different shapes and sizes and certain back on it works for some, some people want a plunge push. Some people just want a very smooth bra. Some people want an under wire, under wire V, under wire scoop.”

I had never thought about it like that, silly right?! We are definitely not one size fits all so there is no “one perfect” bra. We need options for all our massively varied shape and sized boobs!

“What I found was, we created six profiles, six bra shapes and six nipple shapes. We have created them all in eight colors. They are eight fashion forward colours, they are strong in pigment but also don't show under a white t-shirt.”

I got a little bit excited and gushed about how I LOVED the nude in the range, there is just a little something different about it. Not to mention the range of colours, bold but still classic, used throughout the whole range, all influenced from the colour palettes of Prada, Celine and Gucci.

“The nude is called sand. I did it after the sand beaches of Australia, which are quite yellow. I wanted the nude to stand alone as a colour, not as your usual nude. It really balances with the rest of the range well, if you put the nude with the burgundy or the nude with the citronelle it looks like it matches in it’s own way.”

Starting  firmly with the basics is brave, in my humble opinion.  But the collection is growing. It’s exclusively stocked at Farmers and there are new deliveries every week, including some cool and forward thinking designs plus a good dose of lace for all us lace lovers out there.

“Thank god I have a partner that makes great bras and knickers already. Technically he knows what he's doing. It allowed me to really create the collection that I wanted. Part of the collection, the Elle Macpherson Body collection is all the t-shirt bras and knickers. The rest of the main line is lace and moving in-to sleep wear eventually. At the moment it's all lace and unusual designs”

The biggest lesson she learnt in all her years in this industry?

“Fit is the most important thing. Coco Chanel said true luxury is comfort and style. I believe that to be true. We have tried, what I believe is to endeavor a collection that is comfortable and stylish.”

And from taking my 12DD chest for a spin in one of her styles this afternoon, it definitely hits that mark!

Check back tomorrow for the rest of our chat. I basically am best mates with Elle now right?!