Last week I went to the launch of "Dear Mummy, You're Important Too" a self published book by mummy of two, Tui Fleming. She isn't an expert and this book isn't you're usual parenting book filled with tips on turning your children into angels with 10 easy steps (yeah right?!). This book is all about you, the mummy, you are at the heart this book. What I love about Tui's book is that it's all about giving mums permission to put themselves first. Because we mums have to put ourselves first and look after ourselves so we can be the best mothers to our children, wives/partners to our significant others and the best versions of ourselves. As Tui writes "We need to be selfish to be selfless". This was a line that really stood out to me when I first sat down to read the book as it's something I really put into practice when the boys were 6 months old after dealing with a half year of reflux and collic.
I don't know about you but "me time" is as important to me as oxygen. I need a little alone time, otherwise I slowly stop functioning properly and my mothering to the Nuggets starts to slide, I don't have the energy for it or I'm snappy and not engaged properly with them. If I have had a little bit alone time then I am energised, I'm more "me" and I'm that one step closer to being the best "me" I can be; that is a much better scenario for my family.
During the launch there was a panel discussion with Tui and Jo Pilkington owner of @firstscene, Melissa Jack of @thebestnest and Lorraine Scans of @pregnancyexercise (instagram handles). They discussed a number of trials us mums deal with. One of which is guilt. A lot of the chat was that mums do feel a lot of guilt, especially with making this alone time for themselves or putting themselves first. I was sitting there thinking how I have become very good at taking time for myself and not feeling guilty about it...and unbelievably I started to feel GUILTY that I didn't feel guilt like some of these others mothers. My crazy little mind started whirling, do I not love my children as much as these woman do etc etc, is that why I don't feel guilty? Nuts right?! I had to snap myself out of it, feeling guilty because I didn't feel guilty? Crazy stuff Anna! It struck me how powerful this little bastard guilt can be, it can even pop up at the most ridiculous time when it is completely un warranted.
This is why this book is such a good tool for all the mums out there. There are thousands of books that are written to help guide you through parenthood, but very few that are there to support you, the mother. So if you want a book that helps you find your "you" after giving birth, guides you into giving your self permission to take time out, helps you let go of that little, but often negative, voice in your head then this is something you need to read.
Dear Mummy, You're Important Too is $29.99 and available here