Finding a great basics line can be difficult, you want something simple, but unique in design, not too pricey and something that lasts for longer than a season! I'm looking at you Bassike, holes are forever appearing in delicately washed tees! Lucky for me my clever sister-in-law has been designing Five Each for a number of years now and you need to get amongst it asap. Five Each is based and designed out of Mount Manuganui and my summer wardrobe is full of their tees, sets and dresses. In fact their matching sets are always my favourite, I have so many now and always get so many comments on them. In fact I wish I brought two sets of what I'm wearing below, I'm so paranoid it's going to be stained or ruined one day and then I won't be able to wear it anymore which will be a very very sad day.
Read MoreYou're pregnant with twins...What Next?
Holy shit balls, you are pregnant...with twins! Now what?! I often get asked what I did to prepare once I knew we were having twins, so I have pulled together a few top line tips of what we did in the lead up to the birth of the Nuggets. Luckily we found out at 6 weeks so had PLENTY of time to get our heads around it. It's amazing how many people still don't find out about their being an extra baby till their 20 week scan. Imagine? Or pre scans when people didn't even know till they were suddenly birthing a second baby, talk about shock factor!
First things first, sit down, take a deep breath and start trying to wrap your head around carrying, birthing and raising siblings born at the same time. I'm not going to lie, it's a big task so best to start mentally preparing yourself for it, it will be hard but it will be bloody awesome too! You will cry, have moments of despair, how can I keep doing this etc, but it will ALL be worth it. It's true what they say, double the love, double the kisses and double the gorgeous moments. You really are lucky to be on the journey to life with multiples, twins, triplets or whatever as they are really a blessing. If you are reading this and thinking fuck off Anna, this is a total stitch up and not what I wanted at all just trust me, I felt the same way. But one day you do look at your tiny humans and think god I'm the luckiest mama on earth, I may take a little while like it did for me, but that day will come for you! So just hold on tight till you get there.
Support - Having support is one of the most important things with having children let alone multiples. Some of you may not have any family close that you can rely on but you will have friends. Let them know early on that once the babies arrive you would like them to come help hold them while you shower, vacuum, fold washing, watch them so you can have a nap and to cook. It may seem like a lot to ask but it's not, if they aren't happy to help in that way then, well, they are a pretty shitty friend and you should be given the boot! You're fabulous friends who are happy to do this just need direction, so by asking/telling them what you need help with early on sets the precedence and helps give them the info they need to help you out with your new life. Trust me, you should use all the help you can get! A tip my friend of multiples told me was that she got everyone to text her partner to organise visiting times, that way she didn't have to deal with the influx of messages, organising times so there wasn't too many people at once or politely decline if that day really was a day that you just needed to hibernate away from everyone.
Stuff - There is going to be a heap of baby stuff, bottles, pumps, cots, capsules, car seats, nappies, wipes, clothes the list goes on. I laugh when some well-meaning person told me I didn't really need two of everything. Because other than sharing clothes and toys as they get older, you really need double the amount of anything you would need for a newborn. A lot of people wait till later in the pregnancy to start buying things, or purchase a lot after their baby shower so there is no double ups. I would start buying early, spread those costs out as much as possible. If you are having a baby shower then make a registry, i know it can feel weird specifically asking for things bu it will help people make better decisions and you will end up with items you actually need/want. Now with all this stuff comes lack of space, start organising early, de cluttering and figuring out where you are going to put all this stuff.
Ask - Do you know someone who has twins? Doesn't have to be a good friend, they could be a friend of a friend or someone you knew that went to your school. If the answer is yes, get in touch, send them a message and ask for their advice, tips, tricks and ask as many questions as you have. I knew no-one who had twins and since I have had the boys I have been that person for so many people who have come out of the woodwork that I have known somehow. Twin mums can give you advice that other parents who had singletons (such a weird word I never thought I would use till having twins) don't have and they are always happy to share and will go out of the way to help you out as they know first hand just how tough it can be! Your friends with one baby are awesome support too, but they just don't know how to settle, breastfeed or carry two babies at once. Your twin acquaintances will give you invaluable advice. This leads me to my next point. What to do if you don't know anyone with twins....?
First Aid - Look after yourself! Your body is going two/three/four babies and we aren't really designed to do that! Its tough on the body so listen to it carefully. My best advice is to see a womens health physio from early one, they can help you with exercises to help your stretching muscles and ease aches and pains you are having, Physic combined with an Osteopath really helped me when I was in agony from back pain. I see Stacey at RE:AB in Ponsonby and couldn't recommend her enough. She is amazing! If your tummy is getting rather large and heavy a support belt like a smiley belt can really help take a load off, think of it as a bra for your expanding tummy!
Join- Join your local multiple birth club and their corresponding Facebook groups. There are thousands of members and they are all very active and supportive with helping new mums out with their twin wisdom. Whats even better as when you are up feeding in the night and wanting to know something, chances are another twin mum will be online too. It's funny how many conversations are had in those groups in the wee hours. You can find a list of the clubs here and they are usually about $30 to join. You can join the FB groups without being a paid member but it is worth becoming one as you get a box of Huggies when your babies are born (that is your $30 back right there), you get discount codes for so many different brands/baby stores and heaps of extra support. There is a great event they hold every few nights called "New Parents Evening" where members of the club spend a good few hours giving advice on your pregnancy and the newborn stage. It's really nice to hear all the things they have to say and helps put your fears at ease. Jay thought it was going to be "boring" but I dragged him along and he was so glad he did go as it really helped him figure out his new role as a twin dad.
I have such a tendency to write really long blogs and the reality is that this is the tip of the iceberg with what you need to do to prepare, but anything that I haven't covered off will be brought up or brought to your attention by doing the above. If there are any other specific questions you have then post them below and I can pull another post together to answer them all.
Meals For Mum - Amazing Online Support Network
Today I was added to a closed Facebook group, nothing new to that right? What I found was an incredible group of women who are helping other mums in times of need. It was set up two weeks ago and now there are over 6,000 members and its growing fast. The premise of it? To help mums all over the country in times of need with meals or baking. I know there are companies that do this, but sometimes its hard to arrange it quickly, cater to dietary requirements and have restrictions as to who are eligible. This group is set up to help anyone in a time of need and it doesn't have to be for financial reasons only. Women have been asking for help and people are instantly coming to their aid. It's so heart warming to see this community of people really taking the time to help others, warm fuzzy feelings all around. Sometimes some home baking or a great home cooked meal is all it takes to make someones day, week or month! So check it out, join here and see if there is anyone in your neighbourhood that could do with a helping hand.
The ladies who created it were even on Breakfast this morning, you can check it out here.
Asparagus season rocks my world - Recipe
I used to hate asparagus, I mean the smelly wee was enough to put me off let alone over cooked mushy grossness! That was until Jay taught me to cook Asparagus properly with this amazing recipe. Have a mentioned Jay was a home ec teacher in his previous life? No lie he taught at Tauranga boys in his early 20's before being hand-picked from MCing a Surf Comp to be the new male MTV VJ in the min 2000's. Anyway, i snapped about this recipe a month ago and I swear daily i have to tell people how to cook it and the results is always a resounding YUM. SO I have finally got sick of snapping back and have put it down here for you all to enjoy. I am no food blogger so excuse my amateur food photography but I hope you enjoy.
Read MoreVideo - My 5 Minute Everyday Makeup Look
I'm no makeup artist, and I don't wear a lot of makeup during the day unless I know I have somewhere to go/someone to see. I often get asked what products I use when I do have makeup on so thought the best way to show you all was to film myself. This is my 5 minute quick makeup look, my routine is a little different to the average person, I'm not using mascara for obvious reasons and my eyeliner is rather heavy to create depth giving the illusion of lashes. If I spend more time or wear shadow, I smudge out the eyeliner to give it a softer look with a create liner and shadow.
My brows are tattooed and I fill them in, I'm still learning as I never used to draw my brows in before I had them, whenever I tried they would end up wonky! Not a good look. You can also see a faint line of black around my eyes while I have no makeup on, I had them tattooed when I was 20, it has faded but it was never quite right so I always still lined them.
So hear we go, my first foray into filming myself. After the video are all the details about the products I used, some are old favourites and some are newer items but all my absolute favourite things to use day to day at the moment.
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Elizabeth Arden Superstart
This is something new I have been using and I really love it! In short it helps support the surface layer of your skin - whereas most of the products you use are usually made to support the lower dermis layer of your skin - so it makes your skin's surface look really healthy, smooth and supple and it helps the products you apply after it work to the best of their ability. I usually apply it before moisturiser and serums, but add it as a priming step before wearing the following foundation.
Elizabeth Arden Prevage Anti-Aging Foundation
As mentioned above, the reason I wear Superstart before applying this foundation is because this foundation is a new formula that holds anti-ageing properties. If I'm wearing foundation it's nice to know its actually doing something for my skin at the same time! The Superstart helps the Prevage foundation do its thing! Added bonus having Alopecia, can blend my foundation right out so there are no lines at the hair line.
M.A.C Mineralize Concealer
My favourite concealer, such a dewy finish and never creases in the delicate skin underneath the eye. I always apply it with a brush and pat it into the skin. Some people apply concealer first, but a makeup artist told me years ago to do it after your foundation, that way you can see what that doesn't cover and go from their. Otherwise you run the risk of going OTT on the concealer trying to cover every little blemish that your foundation may have covered anyway.
M.A.C Trip The Light Fantastic Powder
When I fist saw this blush I thought it would make me look so orange..but turns out it is the best blush I have ever used! I used to always go for pink blushes but turns out orange/red based blush is my jam. Never have had so many compliments on my rosy cheeks since I started wearing this.
Elizabeth Arden Sunset Bronze Highlighter
If you follow me on snap chat you know how often I talk about this highlighter, it's my favourite and looks so beautiful on. Sadly it's limited edition so get it while it is still in stock! I have bought 4 of them so hopefully they last me a long time!
Elizabeth Arden Natural Brow Pencil - Brunette
I bought this gem at Farmers in Mount Maunganui when I was down there visiting my in-laws as my previous pencil ran out. It's the perfect colour for me especially when jumping between my lighter and darker wigs, it seems to suit all of them and never looks too light or dark. After 23 years with no brows, I'm still a newby to filling them in but getting better by the week!
Mac Boot Black Liquid Eyeliner
I have been wearing this eyeliner everyday since I was about 14, it's my go to and always goes on perfectly. Its super pigmented (i like my eyeliner jet black!) and doesn't move throughout the day.
Urban Decay 24/7 Glide On Eye Pencil
I bought this at Duty Free when travelling to Australia and month ago and I'm loving it, its very black and once it sets it's waterproof and doesn't move. I hate having to re apply makeup through the day, it's not my thing so my favourite products are ones that go the distance.
Elizabeth Arden Eight Hour Cream Lip Palette
Eight Hour Cream was one of those staples I grew up with, my mum always had it and I was forever stealing it. Perfect to use on anything that needs some help combating dryness. I still use it regularly and loved when I saw it in a coloured lip palette with 3 hues, all the moisture with a hint of colour and in a really easy handbag sized palette.
Is there any other videos you would like to see me film? Everyone seems interested in my wig so thought you may like to see how it all work and how I put it on?
Weaning two boob loving boys
Weaning was something I was worried about but looking forward too all at the same time. After a few initial bumps in the road I found the process of breast-feeding reasonably easy, but didn't really enjoy like a lot of mums do. The boys were two hourly feeders for a long time and I felt like I constantly had them attached to me, for them then to go and puke all that milk back up - thanks reflux! I basically felt like I was on a roundabout of feeding that I couldn't get off. So after 6 months I was done with it, I wanted to get to a year but it just wasn't something that made me happy anymore. I was told the easiest way to wean was to drop a feed every week/few days or day, whatever time frame worked with you. I started with the night-time feeds as those I already liked to share with Jay by pumping and us feeding them with bottles, it also one of the feeds that is "most comforting" to the boys, so would be the hardest to get them to give up if I left that till last. Over the course of their sixth month I dropped a feed once a week till eventually I was just feeding them in the morning. The morning feeds lasted for a few weeks then one day they just weren't interested in the boob anymore and that's it, off they went on their happy way to their new relationship with the bottle...and OH MY is it a deep and loving relationship!
I have to say it was a relief when it was done and it wasn't a battle, I had had enough battles with Collic and Reflux! So nice to have some personal space back and not two wriggly babies grappling for my boobs!
The boys are 2.5 now and for the last 2 years those Nuggets have LOVED their bottles. More than they loved my boobs, which was another huge love at that! Bot Bot's as they are commonly referred to in our household have been a life saver in so many situations.
From 6 months till a year the boys drank Heinz Nuture formula, but as you know it's expensive so as soon as they hit 1 I moved them onto cows milk. We were lucky again the boys loved cows milk and were happy to ditch the formula right away. We started the boys on Silver Top Anchor milk as it is partially non-homogenised, which means it's closer to it's original form and full of fat, great for growing boys! Farmer backgrounds on Jay's side of the family were very happy with this decesion as it wasn't something that had occured to me utnill they mentioned it.
At about a year and a half I toyed with the idea of dropping bottles all together, all the articles I read said it would be easiest to do it at this stage rather than waiting and that they didn't need them anymore. BUT I was far too scared to do it, the bottle was such a source of comfort for them. If they woke in the night and I couldn't settle them (which was very often) the bottle would calm them right down and off they would go back to sleep. Who wants to give that up? Not this twin mama, sleep and calming tools are so important to me! Looking back now we probably should have done it, as the boys are still obsessed with their bottles and there is no way we will be getting rid of them anytime soon.Which makes me feel guilty like I didn't make the right decesion and I should have gone through the hard yards then, as now it will be MUCH harder as they can talk and demand a Bot Bot. The boys go through on average between 9-11 litres of milk a week! We have a second fridge in the garage that is devoted to holding all their milk. We moved to Anchor Blue when they hit 2 as they decided they liked to have their milk cold (fussy little men) if they had it during the day. The fatty cream in the Silver Top meant that it wouldn't flow through they bottles if it wasn't warm.
Bottles is one of those crutches they have now that I flip-flop between feeling bad about or not caring. I mean it's a great way for them to get a big dose of calcium, when they are whiny and having an off day I can give them a bottle and get 10 minutes of peace (great for my sanity), it settles them in the night if they are having a bad sleep and well, we never had dummies so it's not like they have lots of other crutches we have to get rid of. But at the same time I stress about it thinking are they too old to be having bottles, is it bad for their teeth, the added cost to our weekly shops, cleaning all the bloody bottles, is it just a habit and could it get worse? I just generally have the typical mum guilt thinking the main reasons I want to keep the bottles is because it makes MY life better. Funny the internal battles we have right? Doesn't make it any easier when you get the "oh they are still having bottles!" comments!
So for now the bot bots stay, screw what people think as they do make my life easier and the boys love them. Can't be that bad right? Have you had bottle loving kids and how did you get them off them? Weaning from bottles is going to be way harder than it was weaning from the boobs!
Boobs, Boobs, Boobs
I have had quite a few requests for a blog on my experiences breast feeding and since I like to please, here it is. One thing we need to cover off before I get into the nitty gritty of breast feeding, is I have implants. Not a secret, it's been written about in magazines before, talked about on TV in a really embarrassing reality tv show I did when I was in my early 20's, but I haven't talked about it recently. Since the Nuggets have arrived I have a new group of followers/readers and you probably weren't aware. For the people who knew I had them, that's usually their first questions when we talk about breast feeding. How did you breast feed when you have implants? It's one of the biggest misconceptions about implants out there, that it means you won't be able to breast feed. My doctor assured me then, as I always knew I would want to breast feed, that unless I wasn't naturally able to breast feed myself, then the placement of my implants would not affect that. It's funny how so many people instantly think it's a write off, even my OB was worried I wouldn't be able to feed.
Anyway I digress...when I first was pregnant I knew I would want to feed and was aiming for a year. When we found out we were having twins I still wanted to feed but knew it would be a tougher journey.
Fast forward 34 weeks and the nuggets made their early entry into the world. After my emergency c-section I was told to squeeze my boobs to collect the colostrum.I barely remember it, but Jay said he would hover over my boob with a syringe sucking it up and after every squeeze I would fall fast asleep. Apparently it was rather hilarious! The amount of colostrum I collected really impressed the nurses and was a good sign that I would be a milk making machine, which it turns out I was luckily.
I was still vomiting for about 2.5 weeks after birth and was paranoid my lack of nutrients would affect my supply, but I'm really lucky that it didn't effect it too badly. My milk came in big time and I had beach balls as boobs, they were so full, pert and looked pretty epic if I do say so myself. Poor Jay was allowed no where near them though!
Since the boys were born so small, the first few days they would practice feeding on my breast whilst still being feed by and NG tube. The NG tube delivered my pumped milk directly to their stomach via a tube that went up their nose and into their tummy.
The nurses were great in Nicu, except one who made me feel like shit for being a little late to feed one of the boys, he was really hungry and it was then difficult to latch him. I was so ill myself I found it really unfair that she was making me feel so bad and guilty about being late (reason being I was being sick in the toilet). Last thing a twin mama wants to feel is pressure and anxiety about doing everything wrong! The rest were great and really helpful with showing me how to latch them and support their tiny little bodies next to me and my giant knockers. One of the things I had to do was pop a finger on my breast and pull it slightly away from their noses, they were so small my full boobs would squish against their face and since they were so small it would cover their nostrils, so the pulling away would give them a clear airway making it easier to feed.
Once you graduate Nicu you are sent to PIN, a ward where the babies are still supervised 24/7 by nurses but where you are meant to do all of their "cares", basically look after them like you would at home. Most babies are in there to learn how to feed properly, stabilise, put on weight and just be generally better and in a good place to be able to thrive once sent home with their parents.
I really realised once we were in PIN that I was struggling to bond with my babies and I thought nailing breastfeeding and feeling like I was doing "something" right would help. I really stuck in to figuring the whole breastfeeding out, as I figured that maybe that was the key to bonding, as so many mothers said it does. Their mouths were so small they didn't always latch correctly, I was having to pump to keep extra feeds available to be feed via NG tube. I did get some cracked nipples which wasn't fun at all. I noticed it first when I saw there was blood in my pumped milk and quickly realised it was coming from the space where my areola and my nipple meet. We have a lactation consultant who works in the NICU and PIN ward, I personally found her very helpful. She was straight in there giving me these new Manuka honey breast pads to help heel them and they were a godsend. I couldn't recommend them enough. The healing properties of the Manuka in the pads worked a treat, and within a couple of days they healed and I never got any more cracks or grazes after this. The lactation consultant told me that I was lucky as darker coloured nipples are tougher and I seriously had some dark chocolate afghans going on. Considering how little pain I got in terms of the boys sucking on them, the old wives tales may be true! Thanks to my great grandmas Indian blood for giving me some tough nipps!
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Check the silly pumping video my friend Sophie took when she visited me in hospital, she couldn't believe the set up and how it really was like milking a cow.
My milk supply was great, once those first cracks disappeared my nipples were holding up, but my god those let down pains were tough! I felt like I had needles running down my milk ducts for the first 5 or so minutes of feeding. Everyone told me feeding hurt because it hurt your nipples, no one told me my boobs would feel like they were being shredded on the inside! I'm not sure if you just get used to that pain or it goes away after you have been feeding for a few weeks, but that eventually wore off. I would just grin and bear it for the first 5 minutes until it would subside for the rest of the feed!
Sadly the whole bonding experience whilst feeding for the first few weeks didn't happen for me. I was forever trying to keep them awake on the boob, timing how long it was taking them to record on the sheets in PIN and generally falling asleep myself late at night waiting for them to finish their sometimes hour long feeds (that's two hours sitting up in a cold hospital feeding them one by one!), it was exhausting. Thats another thing no one says, they say breast feeding is handwork, but I thought that meant it was hard figuring it all out, not that it was physically exhausting to begin with. The thirst, all the extra water and food you need, the forever having something attached to your nipple, the pain of being hooked up to IV's myself and bending the joints they were placed in to feed, dealing with the boys wires and tubes and the cramp you would get from holding a baby in one place for an hour. Gah! It's funny as I originally thought I had a pretty easy experience breast feeding, as once I got it down it was pretty straight forward, but I really forgot about all of this stuff that happened at the beginning. That is until I started typing and it came pouring out of me.
After realising I couldn't handle sitting up for two hours at a time feeding the boys one after each other, I knew I had to get the tandem feeding down. Late one night the lactation consultant had more free time to help me learn how to do it and set me up. God it was hard getting their tiny bodes in the right position and up close enough to my giant orbs, there was so may rolled pillows, muslin cloths etc going on but we did it.
I had to hold their heads up and in the right angle towards my nipples because their heads weren't big enough to lay flat and let their mouth reach me. So sitting and feeding like this for an hour (they were slow feeders to start with due to their size) wasn't exactly comfortable either. The pillow had to wrap around my sides so their legs could lay that way, as they got longer and longer it was tough as I would need to sit so far forward in the pillow for them to be able to lie down. I was forever having to shove pillows down the back of the pillow for back support and to stop it pushing forward if I sat back. I have since found a great looking twin feeding/general feeding pillow online from the states that looks like it solves that problem. Wish I had seen it when i was feeding!
Tandem feeding wasn't easy to start with, so if you have twins and are reading this don't expect it to be something you will master quickly, especially setting it up by yourself. (If you do I bow down to you). The boys were small so it would take Jay passing them to me and me holding them in place to get them to feed correctly, in fact to tandem feed it took Jay being their to help me a good few months before I felt confident enough to do it on my own, not the latching part, but actually getting them up onto the pillow and settled. Jay was amazing and would wake at every night feed to help pass the boys to me and get them on, and then take them one by one when they were done to help me burp them. I should mention here that the boys feed 2 hourly 24/7 for about 16 weeks. Those little buggers didn't get into a great 3 hourly schedule like most NICU babies and demanded to be feed every two hours without fail. There was no stretching them out as they would get so historical that they would end up being too upset to latch and feed properly. It was bloody awful! So props to Jay for being their by my side 100% for all of the night feeds, I seriously have an amazing man.
It took a visit from Dorothy Waide for me to put on my big girl panties and decide to give tandem feeding when I was alone a good crack. The boys were about 2 moths at this stage and she said I didn't need to treat them as carefully as I had when they were in Nicu. She recommend I set myself up on the couch with each of them on either side of me, pop one on and then pick the other one up with one hand and scoop them up onto the pillow. To burp them mid feed she said I should roll them off the pillow, I know, sounds WTF?! But it worked. I would kind of gently roll them off the pillow gently as possibly onto the couch and lay them on their tummy. Then you could pat their back till they did a big burp and pick them up by the back of their clothes (I know this sounds horrifying but it worked!) and lift them back onto the pillow to re latch. Imagine it being like a cat picking their baby up by the scruff of their neck. So that's how I managed tandem feeding alone while they still needed me to keep an arm under their head, so their mouth could reach my nipples. As they got older I would sit them in a boppy pillow either side of me and latch them one by one. They were bigger and heavier at this stage so I could reach for one and put them on, they no longer needed my hand for support so I could use both hands to get the second. Then eventually I could hold them both in a side by side football hold where they lay on top of each other.
I'm lucky that after those first few weeks with the pain, exhaustion of the 2 hour feeds it started to click into place for me. I'm not so lucky that the whole breast feeding experience didn't help me bond with my kids, that was a slow burn, but oh boy do I love them with everything now. I have said before that I almost, dare I say it, found it easy to breastfeed once we were established. I think the main reason behind this was that the boys latched well, I didn't continue to get pain, I made a FUCK load of milk, I could pump off 500-600ml in 20mins with no problems and they were good and quick feeders once they got bigger. BUT, and it's a big BUT, they had collic and reflux, which meant they puked everything up constantly! So while I made a tonne of milk it was hard to keep up with the demands for feeds as they were starving all the time after projectile vomiting everywhere.
I felt like they were constantly on my boob. If you know me you know I love my own 'bubble' I like my own space and me time and it was slowly driving me mental having not one but two things attached to my boob, then people like my mum hanging over my boobs watching them feed. What is it with that? I know people think it's cute and she was worrying they weren't feeding right but I'm like, back up mum, give me some space and keep your beady eyes off my boobs! (love you mum!).
I also wasn't keen on the feeding when we were in public. Don't freak, I'm not one of those people who think its gross to show your boobs whilst feeding in public, I feed them plenty of times out and about and I never covered them up. I don't care and if someone does they wouldn't walk away without a massive telling off from me. It was just the whole process took so long with two, I would have to do them one at a time. As much as I don't care about feeding in public, you can see above that tandem feeding is pretty much rolling fully topless and not discreet with my huge nipples and boobs. If we were out, which was rare, I wanted to eat my meal or whatever we were out for and not spend it sitting and feeding the whole time. So we would bottle feed either pumped milk if I had enough backed up or formula. That's something I'm not ashamed to admit, I am pro 'fed is best' and my children did mix fed during the 6 months that I breastfeed. So never feel bad if you do the same or purely formula feed. The mums who exclusively breastfeed, you are awesome and I am not trying to take away that achievement for you, but those that fed their child whatever way should be just as proud. It's not a competition after all!
Now a lot of lactation consultants or people in general stress about nipple confusion with bottle teats in the early stages. I kinda ignored that advice and feed them a bottle once a day from about 3 weeks old. I always feed them this bottle at night, the last feed before bed as that was when my milk was at its least fatty and I was tired and exhausted. I liked having the help to feed them or having Jay and another friend who was over doing it so I could have time out. Which is much needed and deserved, so don't feel guilty if this is something you want to do also. The nipple confusion thing never happened and it meant the boys were used to a bottle, so if they were away from me then someone else could feed them. I had so many friends say they gave their bottle to their baby once, they took it so thought all was fine, by the time they needed to give one to them again they weren't having it. I'm no expert but I think a bottle a day or every few days definitely helps with that issue, in my humble opinion.
I wanted to reach a year BF the boys but we got to 6 months when we went to LA to visit family and the weaning started, mum took them for a night so we could go stay at a hotel and have a lone time and they stopped being interested in the boob. To be honest I was done too. I was still having mental health issues and finding the transition to twin mum rather difficult and I just wanted a bit of "me" back. I was proud of what I had done, but I was tired of feeding only to watch it all be puked back up 2 minutes to 2 hours later so I started weaning.
I guess the point of all this is we all walk a different journey, and like Rebecca said at Takes A Village, breastfeeding is natural, as in we are made to do it, but it doesn't come naturally. Just as like I experienced with the help of a lactation consultant, it's a learned behaviour. We and our babies need to learn how to do it and it can be fucking hard. So don't be too hard on yourself ladies.
Weaning next up on the blog and why the boys still have their beloved bot bots.
The Body In Person - My Chat With Elle Part Two
Last week Elle left such a big impression on me, she was gorgeous, smart and knew every little details about her new business, Elle Machperson Body. This isn’t just lending her face to another brand, she owns 50% of the company and she is involved in every little detail. She also owns another wellness company called Well Co, which steamed out of her need of supplements that she could take on the go without carrying hundreds of bottles of different vitamins around.
She looks great, she has aged of course, but in a beautiful and natural way. Not in the typical Hollywood fashion where everything starts to look a little plastic. If I look as good as her when I’m 50 I would be over the moon!
Being so busy I wondered what her non negotiable's were when it came to health and wellness?
“Wellness, this is non-negotiable for me. I have to work at it. When I was younger I could rely on genetics. Today I really have to make sure that I have the right supplement to help nourish my body and that's why I created Well Co. I couldn't find the right nutrients and what I used to do wasn’t working anymore. She said I needed to be more alakline and needed more plants in my diet but I was finding it really hard to eat a lot of plants. I said, how do I fill my life with plant food when I'm on the run. She said, look, let's make it simple. Lets make vitamins, minerals and plant food in a powder that you can take everyday to help you. I take that everyday. I created clean plant-based protein powders. A sleep tea because I have trouble sleeping with all my travel. I really focus and make sure that I am getting my nutrients and getting good sleep. Seven hours of sleep and I drink three litres of water a day. I try to work out about 45 minutes to an hour, doing some kind of vigorous exercise or moving my body.”
She aims for everyday but she explained that doesn’t always happens, she has been promoting Elle Macpherson Body for the past 7 days so hasn’t bee able to work out at all. But she said if you give her a mountain she would climb it, that’s her thing.
“If it takes two hours I will do it. If it's all up hill I will do it, I don't mind. I did a lot of hiking over the summer. Sometimes 14/15 miles a day. The ideal day for me would be an hour of yoga in the morning, a hike and an hour of swimming in the afternoon. That would be a really great work out day for me.”
That incredible skin I mention, she keeps it as natural as possible to keep it looking the way it does.
“The most important thing for me is beauty from the inside out. I take my Super Elixir everyday. Sleep everyday. At least 50 percent or 60 percent of good skin Is there. If you neglect that it doesn't matter what you put on the outside. For me, what my experience is, it doesn't make any difference what you use on the outside, you got to do that foundation work first. I like to use Dr. Sebagh's products. I cleanse. I do use retinol sometimes. I like micro needling, I feel that does good stuff for my skin but I don’t do lasers as I am in the sun a lot. All very natural”
With 5 children I imagine it is hard to find the right work/family life balance.
“My biggest thing is prioritizing the kids. I was even laughing today. I've got five children. I've spoken to every one of them today even though I'm in New Zealand.”
Elle rattles off a long and impressive list of what all her kids are up to, test, sport injuries, a son who has two dates to the Kanye concert, which we laugh about.
“That's my number one thing. I connect with the children. I see what they're doing. How they're going and making sure they are ok. It's prioritizing the kids and my husband. I fit work in around that. If I can focus on family first everything else falls into place.”
So how does she relaxed with everything on her plate?
“I like to cook although I'm not very good, but I do like to prepare, even If I make home-made almond milk I find that really relaxing.”
Oh good, one thing she isn’t good at. She is human after all!
The Body In Person - My Chat With Elle
Not only getting to meet a supermodel, but interview one is not usually on my agenda. Usually its nappy changes, trips to the park, running errands with two sidekicks, but today I got to put on something other than exercise gear and talk with the one and only, Elle Macpherson aka The Body. Other than talking about her new collection Elle Macpherson Body, we also got to chat about health and wellness and how she maintains that incredible body of hers. It's amazing how much chat you can fit into 15 minutes, so I'm going to break it down. Today, it's all about her bras so to speak and tomorrow it's health, wellness, family and what makes her tick.
If you’re an avid fan of her previous work in the world of Lingerie then the first thing you will notice is how different the esthetic and campaign is for Elle Macpherson Body, namely, the lack of Elle as the model.
“I felt it was time to hand the campaign on to the new generation of girls. I felt confident enough that you didn’t need me in it to sell it. The designs stand for themselves, plus she put on the bra and knickers and made them her own. It’s definitely time to let the new generation of girls make this collection their own”
I loved her response! It’s refreshing to see a supermodel, who we all know usually front their own campaigns, because lets face it, their face does and has sold millions of things to us consumers over the years. It great to see her really have faith that her designs don’t need “the body” in them to help shift them from the shelves.
A fresh approach to marketing and campaigns goes hand in hand with a new approach to design. One thing Elle thinks she failed to nail, the ever elusive perfect T-shirt bra.
“I found it really hard to design a really good t-shirt bra, because I was doing a lot of lace. Lace and t-shirt bras don't go well together. I promised my self when I started working again I was going to do something that was modern, dynamic, cool, clean lines, unusual colors, smooth and really cater for women.”
T-shirt bras the base of a new brand? I know you are thinking boring, but so does Elle, but there is good reason for it.
“I said to my partner, okay we're going to do this together but the first thing we need to do is to create the best t-shirt bra. A lot of people don't want to do that because it is boring. We're all different shapes and sizes and certain back on it works for some, some people want a plunge push. Some people just want a very smooth bra. Some people want an under wire, under wire V, under wire scoop.”
I had never thought about it like that, silly right?! We are definitely not one size fits all so there is no “one perfect” bra. We need options for all our massively varied shape and sized boobs!
“What I found was, we created six profiles, six bra shapes and six nipple shapes. We have created them all in eight colors. They are eight fashion forward colours, they are strong in pigment but also don't show under a white t-shirt.”
I got a little bit excited and gushed about how I LOVED the nude in the range, there is just a little something different about it. Not to mention the range of colours, bold but still classic, used throughout the whole range, all influenced from the colour palettes of Prada, Celine and Gucci.
“The nude is called sand. I did it after the sand beaches of Australia, which are quite yellow. I wanted the nude to stand alone as a colour, not as your usual nude. It really balances with the rest of the range well, if you put the nude with the burgundy or the nude with the citronelle it looks like it matches in it’s own way.”
Starting firmly with the basics is brave, in my humble opinion. But the collection is growing. It’s exclusively stocked at Farmers and there are new deliveries every week, including some cool and forward thinking designs plus a good dose of lace for all us lace lovers out there.
“Thank god I have a partner that makes great bras and knickers already. Technically he knows what he's doing. It allowed me to really create the collection that I wanted. Part of the collection, the Elle Macpherson Body collection is all the t-shirt bras and knickers. The rest of the main line is lace and moving in-to sleep wear eventually. At the moment it's all lace and unusual designs”
The biggest lesson she learnt in all her years in this industry?
“Fit is the most important thing. Coco Chanel said true luxury is comfort and style. I believe that to be true. We have tried, what I believe is to endeavor a collection that is comfortable and stylish.”
And from taking my 12DD chest for a spin in one of her styles this afternoon, it definitely hits that mark!
Check back tomorrow for the rest of our chat. I basically am best mates with Elle now right?!
A Unique Hair Cut
I wear a Freedom Wig which is custom-made to fit my head, it's pretty amazing and looks like real hair. You would have a hard time picking it as a wig. I can surf, roller coaster ride or bunny jump and it won't move off my head as it's custom fit means it creates a vacuum when I put it on. They are made hair in NZ and are sent all over the world for others that have Alopecia, it really makes me proud that a kiwi owned and operated company is leading the way in wig technology for those with clinical hairless. Anyway I digress, when it arrives I affectionately call it "Cousin It" as the hair is the same length all the way around. Its' a big job for a hairdresser to cut as it's very different from your average hair cut, it takes a lot of time and can be nerve-racking as once you cut it won't grow back!
It can look "wiggy" if you tie your hair up and see the line where the hair stops at the edge of the wigs cap and my real skin appears. To combat that I cut whispy pieces of hair along the hair-line to mimic those baby hairs everyone has, that way when pull my hair up I can have those pieces down to hide the edge of the cap.
I filmed a little stop motion video of my latest wig cut, as I'm often asked how I go about styling them, Chloe Zara is who I trust to cut my treasured wigs and does a great job. Here is my latest cut, 2 hours into 1 minute. You can see she has to take a long time cutting in the "baby hairs" around the wigs edge.
[wpvideo BUPBIH9C]
The Perfect Pout
We all have things we don't like about ourselves or wish we could make changes too. One of those things for me? My thin lips, look I know I don't have nothing there, but they drop at the sides quickly and definitely lack oomph. I love the shape, I have in my opinion, a great cupids bow, but I wish they packed a little more punch. Back in the day when I used to model, makeup artists were forever over drawing my lips to make them fuller and I much preferred them when they did that. Which lead me into my first experience with fillers. It was 10 years ago, so I can't even remember where I got them done, but it was a legitimate place. They filled the outer area of my lips and placed a small amount in my bottom lip too and was told I would love the result when the swelling went down. But I HATED IT, they filled my upper lip far too much so it stuck out like a duck and looked so un natural. The bottom lip is meant to be fuller so this just looked ridiculous. Lucky I metabolise fillers reasonably fast (this is a natural process your body does) and they eventually subsided to their normal lack lustre size. Safe to say my Donald Duck experience scared me from ever trying filler again.
As some of you would know from my Instagram and Snapchat, I have gone and given fillers a second shot. What changed my mind you wonder? It came about through talking to Caci Clinic about another procedure, Botox in my Masseter (jaw line) muscle. I'm a big jaw clencher and teeth grinder and I hate it. It gives me headaches and is not great for my teeth, so when I found out that Botox was being used to weaken those muscles I knew I had to check it out.
It was when I went and saw Karen a cosmetic nurse specialist at High St Caci Clinic that I got talking about my lips and how I had always disliked their fullness but loved their shape. Karen said that she imagined they tried to flip my lips to create the fullness on the outside, she said that often gave the trout pout look. Karen managed my expectations and said iff I added little more fullness to the middle of my lips and a tiny bit on the outside that it would give a natural fullness to my lips but wouldn't change that much how they dropped at the sides, I couldn't achieve that without going BIG. I was really nervous, but I really trusted Karen on this. Caci Clinic have been treating people for years and she said in the last ten years, the industry has come a long way in realising where the best place to put fillers is to achieve the desired shape or fullness. Their really is a knack to knowing where to place it with how it will alter the shape. So I bite the bullet and booked in to have some filler placed in my lips at the same time as my Botox treatment.
Now I wanted this to look as natural as having your lips filled can be. I didn't want massive lips, as that's just too drastic for my liking and I have to say I'm thrilled with the results. They are fuller in the middle, but I don't think I look like your typical women who wants filler for a huge change aka Kylie Jenner lips. Not to say there is anything wrong with that, it's just not my vibe.
Was it painful? It's not painless but totally manageable, you get numbed and ice is applied throughout to numb the injection sites further and to help with swelling. The injections took about 10 minutes and with deep breaths it was fine. Karen is a pro and she did warn me that she thought one side may bruise, they can't see where the blood vessels are but they can tell if they hit one. She was right, I did have a massive black bruise on one side of my face for about 5 days which I had to do a lot of covering up on. It looked like I had been socked in the mouth. But other than that I had the very normal post procedure results which is swelling. I was told most people love their swollen lips from day 2 and always come back asking for a little more. I see what she means, the plumpness swelling gives you is awesome, but you can never quite replicate that natural swell with filler so you just need to move on from that idea. I think it took about 10 days for it to really settle down and show the true results and In my opinion I think it's such a nice change, the perfect "little bit extra". I like that my bottom lip is a little bigger than the top now, as before they were pretty similar in size.
The Botox in my jaw has really helped ease my clenching, I don't get as many headaches and my teeth aren't as sore from clenching down on them. Plus this didn't hurt to have in the slightest, I barely felt it at all! As an added bonus after a few months you can notice your face start to slim where the muscle weakens. I can slightly notice that has started to happen but photos aren't really doing it justice. It's just one of those things where you know your face so well that you can see it before anyone else can ( you can slightly see it in the above before and after picture of my lips, the outer part of my jawline looks slimmer). I will update on that in a few more months if you can really see the difference. But if you have the same issue as me, then I really recommend going to talk to Caci Clinic about it, as it has dramatically improved that issue for me.
Go the Fuck to Sleep Part Two
What the actual fuck is going on right now with the Nuggets sleep? Well I do kinda know, they are playing with the idea that they don't want to nap during the day, but they/we aren't ready! They refused one the other day and 1.5 hours later were fast asleep on the couch! The reason why I only kinda know, is they haven't slept through the night in months! This was when they were still happily napping during the day. So I feel like there is somehow two separate issues going on right now?
It all started about 5 months ago, we used to pop the boys into bed and they would grizzle for a little bit and then off to la la land they would go. Look they weren't GREAT sleepers, hello 5-6am wake up times. But they consistently went to sleep easily and slept through, or if they did wake they would grizzle for a minute and then self settle easy peasy. Then it happened, one night they got out of bed, lay on their backs and start kicking the fucking door! As I have said any times before, man they can be tiny assholes! Now before you think it, why don't I persist and tell those tiny a holes not to kick the door. May I add it sounds like the door is about to break in, it is so fucking loud. You wouldn't believe it! Anyway we have done the persistence of moving them back to bed, telling off, being nice about it, ignoring it, giving them the grumpy voice. We did it all, they did not stop kicking that door in as soon as we left the room! Every night after anywhere between 5-15 minutes they would finally give in and off they would go to bed. That's till they woke up again and it started all over again. It literally has been a nightmare. What could get worse you wonder? Moving house!
We went away to Bali for my birthday and moved the day we got back. The boys couldn't get out of their old room, as the door handles were too high but they are nice and low in the new house. I expected the first few days to be tough, new surrounding etc, but we are in week three and its been pretty horrific. They have spent so many nights in our bed, and being in our bed doesn't make them sleep better. They toss, turn and wake up constantly. Our presence does nothing to make them sleep better. Way to make us feel even more useless.
When we try to settle them in their room they have a sixth sense about when we leave, they can be out to it after an hour of settling and sneak out. two minutes later they are hysterical, screaming, the KICKING! They wake up just screaming these days and its heart breaking but also incredibly frustrating. I'm not a very nice person after midnight, I like my sleep and my patience level goes waaaay down. I have to grit my teeth and take deep breaths to calm down as they can be so trying. Basically I have gone from feeling like we had done pretty well at the sleep thing to being down in the mud being trampled over overnight by the nuggets. So I ask again, what the hell is going on? Is this a 2-year-old molar thing (they don't seem to be in pain and don't say anything hurts), is it a recession, is it night terrors, separation anxiety? Please tell me this has happened to other people and is there anyone who can help or specialises in toddlers sleep?
Presenting Takes A Village - A bloody good night out
I have been hinting in my Snapchats about working on something awesome...I can finally tell you all about it! My fellow mum blogger Rebecca and I were discussing how we wanted to collab on something, she came up with the idea of a panel event where we would talk about all things motherhood with nothing off-limits. I spoke to my BFF Julia about it as she had recently finished a Women's Wellness event series and thought she could give us some tips on where to start. Lets just say the stars aligned as she said her and her sister Libby were wanting to do another tour focusing on family health and nutrition. We figured we should roll it into one big travelling event series/ an excuse to hit the road all together for two weeks, and that's how Takes A Village came about. We will be visiting 7 cities around NZ and hope to see a lot of you there! Click read more for all the event details. We are thrilled to have 5+ A Day as our sponsor, thank you very much!
Takes a Village is an evening for women to take the night off and kick up their heels, or perhaps wear heels! Or maybe just clothes that don’t have spew, sticky finger marks or poo on them, and talk abut boobs, babies, broccoli and everything in between.
Join health gurus Julia and Libby Matthews, along with Mummy bloggers Anna Reeve and Rebecca Shannon for a night of laughter and love. We invite you to listen to our motherhood woes and hear about some parenting wins.
It’s an opportunity to take some time out and learn about nutrition for your family on a budget, pre and post conception health, childrens’ immunity, healthy alternatives (to the biscuits you’re feeding the kids for breakfast) and what superfood us superwomen should be eating.
The night will be informative and interactive, with a presentation from nutritionist and published authors Julia and Libby, followed by a panel chat between the old girls Anna and Rebecca along with first-timer Libby.
The floor will then become yours, and guest will be invited to ask it all: routines, parenting battles, vaginas, the dreaded first post-baby sexual encounter, saggy boobs or lack thereof.
Get the girls together for dinner and drinks, and then come along to Takes a Village for a good time, or perhaps drag your partner along to upskill them! We promise there will be goody bags that make shaving your legs worth it, and spot prizes you won’t want to miss.
Get in quick as numbers are limited and when they’re gone, they’re gone… Much like your sanity after having kids.
You can buy your tickets here
GA is $39 and premium tickets are $79 which include goodies bags filled with goods from B-Well, Eco Store Stirling Sports, Water Wipes, Pics, Jack + Jill, Swisse, Sukin, Pure Fiji, Tasti, Bio Balance, Only Organic, Little Skinfood, Natra Care, Caci Clinic and Lifestream.
We have plenty of sport prizes to give away too, a Unirider from Moutnain Buggy, A pair of Skechers, Gypsy Pirate tee, Haakaa gift hamper, One months supply of Anchor Milk, Little Flock of Horrors voucher and a voucher from The Baby Bag.
Locations
Tauranga – Monday 29th August
Hamilton – Tuesday 30th August
Auckland – Wednesday 31st August
New Plymouth – Thursday 1st September
Wellington – Monday 5th September
Invercargill – Tuesday 6th September
Christchurch – Wednesday 7th September
Go The Fuck To Sleep
Have you heard about that "storybook" Go The Fuck To Sleep? That's how I have felt all weekend about my children. Pretty much muttered it under my breath yelled it at almost all sleep times for the past 4 days. The boys are usually OK sleepers. Ok in the fact they can self settle (but don't always choose to do it) and generally sleep through the night (just not recently). But they aren't long nappers, never have been, and are early risers. The latter of which I am sadly not. Jays been away in Sydney for four days so I have been flying solo, and sure enough the boys can smell the fear and decide to act up. They have a really nasty habit (just plan naughty behaviour) of getting out of their beds in protest of going to bed, laying on their backs and KICKING their feet against the door and screaming really loudly...and I ignore them. You may think I'm mean ignoring their cry and obvious upset, but I swear they aren't, they just want to protest in the loudest, most aurally confronting way possible!
The last few nights they have ramped this up a notch and really gone for it. It seriously sounds like the door is about to fall of its hinges. Yes I can hear you now, go in and tell them off, persist and they will stop, lay in there till they fall asleep....tried all that! My kids bizarrely don't do well with me in their room, they fuss even more and have scary spider sense. I can lay there for an hour and would bet anything they were asleep. I move in the slightest to leave and one will sit straight up and say Mama?! WTF, how did you hear me/why aren't you bloody asleep after an hour? GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP! I know they fall into a deep slumber in way less time when I'm not in their room, so why not when I'm there? Anyway, I disgress. This banging is so so loud and is really intense if you aren't used to it/havent hard the little buggers go for it. On Friday I was talking to my friend Rebecca on the phone after I put the boys to bed and they banged, banged and banged for 25 minutes before they gave up! She couldn't believe it. I think it just spurned us both on to talk about how our children had been horrors the last few days. I love my kids, but gosh they can run rings around you!
So settling to sleep has been a nightmare, nap times have been super short (and we all know nap time is the best time of the day when you are tired and flying solo!) and they have been waking REALLY early like pre 5am early, and wanting come into "mummys bed". It's like they know I am more of a pushover when Jays away, and in my head letying them in is a good idea! They will sleep better and we will all get nore sleep right? wrong! I then spend a night awake being kicked, pushed and susshing babies to sleep as its suddenly more fun to stay awake and climb over me. Fail. Anyway the point of this blog is to vent, venting is good, so that honour falls on you. Thank you! Sadly there is not some magic answer at the end of this blog to stop my kids kicking in the door and sleep in till 7am. If you think you have one please feel free to share below!
Jays home in 1 hour, and he is on the drive show on Hauraki this week, so no breakfast slot 4am starts for him. Which means...you guessed it. This mama is getting a sleep in! Boom!
Night!
IVF - The Ins & Outs that aren't in the pamphlet
I had a follower snap me the other day asking about the "real" ins and outs of IVF. You can read all about the steps in all the pamphlets the doctors give you. But they can't tell you how you will feel, will you need care for your kids if you already have them, will you turn into a crazed psychopath on the hormones? That kind of information is harder to find. So I shared my experiences with her to help and thought that could be relevant to anyone else planning on going through IVF too. I know I wrote about my feelings and the emptional side of doing IVF but this delves a little deeper into the actual process, so if you want to know what to expect from someone without a medical degree the you have found the right place!Please note that everyone reacts differently to drugs and hormones, so this is entirely my experience with them and yours could be the polar opposite. The daily injections, this is I think a major fear for anyone starting fertility treatment, especially if you are afraid of them. I'm ok with needles but the thought of injecting myself really freaked me out. Jay of course offered to do it for me, but they need to be done at a certain time each day and didn't want to have to rely on him if he got stuck at work or something. So I sucked it up and injected myself, I worked myself up the first time and cried and cried but it actually didn't hurt. You grab some skin on your tummy between two fingers and inject into that fold of skin, it's such a small prick you won't really notice it. You do this everyday so to avoid getting sore by sound the same spot you kind of go in the shape of a 'smile' from one side of your tummy down and around to the other side. I definitely got some bruises and the places of injections can be a bit sore. The only ones I found to kind of hurt were the ones I had to take in the evening to stop ovulating for the last week or so (I'm so sorry but being over 3 years ago I can't remember their name and the finer details) but you had to mix the powder and water yourself to make the injection, a part I actually found fun pretending to be a doctor! These injections made the inception site feel kind of itchy and they would swell a bit more, but nothing major. So please don't worry too much, the injections were one of the easiest aspect of the whole thing.
Will these drugs make you a crazy person or gain weight? for me personally the later was true, I was the heaviest I have ever been when we did the removal of the eggs. However, I actually was super chill and "full of love" when I was taking the hormones. Which was the opposite to how I was when on Clomiphene aka a crazy lady who my husband really didn't like! I had heard horror stories online and in magazine articles of people feeling awful, sick, emotional un stable on ivy drugs but every actual person I know who has done it said they felt totally normal if not better than normal. So I can't promise you anything but I hope you don't end up being one of those people who said they literally could never face doing another round because of how ill they felt, that would suck! Anyway, our doctors told us I may feel really happy as the hormones can give you that lovey dovey feeling, and it did. Jay was very happy with a very loving and touchy feely wife! So yes there are bad sides, hey weight gain, but I found my mood was great. Once again, this is what happened with me, so no promises.
Blood work, more needles! Great! Every second day about a week after I started injecting I needed to get blood work taken so (I think) they could check my hormone levels and figure out when I would ovulate so they could time the harvest (that is a horrible word isn't it when thinking of your lady bits) of the eggs. This was the biggest pain for me as you had to go to a clinic to have this done, trying to fit this all in before work, when EVERYONE else has the same idea means some early starts! I imagine if you already have kids this will be the hard part since you an wrangle kids with a needle in your arm!
Scanning! So many bloody scans. Safe to say you get very used to having a probe up your vagina to scan your insides! Trust me, when they first pull this thing out it is a bit horrifying, especially if you have never had an internal scan before. You probably have had one to get to the stage of needing IVF, but nonetheless its quite confronting as it looks like a skinny dildo with a round ball on the top! It gets better, the doctor then places a condom on it and lube, I know it's for hygiene and to make things easier, but seriously it made me giggle/go bright red/clench my pelvic floor like I have never clenched it before. Even worse was the offering of shall he insert it or I!? I was DYING at this point, from a hilarity standpoint and embarrassment. I leave what option I chose up to your imagination...ok don't actually think about that, but we will leave some part of my life a mystery. Anyway off course there a little bit; the reason why they need to scan "from the inside" is they need to get a really good look at your ovaries to see how many Follicles you have. If you are like me you would have never heard of having Follicles in there, definitely didn't cover that in health class! We are born with hundreds of thousands of follicles in our ovaries and they basically hold an immature egg that matures and then is released into our uterus for fertilisation. The aim of the game with IVF is to get these suckers working in overdrive, so instead of only one follicle working it's magic like a usual cycle, they want you to grow as many follicles as possible. So during the scans this is what they are counting, to see how you are reacting to our hormones and to see how the follicles are coming along size wise. Basically, the bigger the follicle the more mature the egg, meaning it is ready to be harvested. To give you an idea when they are ready, the follicles reach 16-20mm then they are what they consider "mature" and your egg collection date will be set. So this is where I think my discomfort came towards the end of the cycle. I had 25 follicles so I had about 25 2cm large follicles hanging out in my ovaries, that's a lot more room big taken up than on your usual cycle! So I felt very bloated and my abdomen was tender to touch. If you have kids then this will be another thing that will be tough as I know how toddler love to crawl, kick, stand on their mamas!
Once those follicles are nice and big you take a trigger injection which makes your body prepare to release them, your extraction os scheduled exactly 12 hours after you take that shot. This is when they go in and remove all the eggs with (don't read the next paragraph if you are freaking out about this bit as I'm about to describe the thing they use to take them out)
It's another internal ultrasounds dildo but with a giant needle attached to it!
Ok safe now so you are given some sort of local and some happy drugs so you are a bit out of it but not knocked out. I have senile found out from a friend who had as many eggs as me they usually knock you out as its obvious more painful the more eggs you have to retrieve, no idea why I didn't get that option but hey I survived. I barely remember it but Jay said he was trying not to freak out watching it all go down. I'm glad they let your partner sit in with you, as it definitely helped calm my nerves. The whole process was over in 30 minutes and afterwards you have a nice cup of tea and a biscuit for another 30 minutes to check you are all fine.
You are told to take the rest of the day off work and that you will have cramping but they said most people can go to work the next day with pain relief. I woke up the next day and was quite sore, but that was to be expected with the amount of eggs we had taken out. I spent an extra day at home curled up on the couch with a hotter bottle but felt ok the next morning. If you are ding this with kids then I would try to organise some help or if you have family around maybe send them for a sleepover for a night or two.
Once they take the eggs that's when the baby making magic happens, not quite as romantic as in the bedroom but still so amazing. Wonders of modern medicine! We had to do ICSI, the step up from IVF. In IVF they pop the sperm in a dish with an egg and its a whose strongest wins scenario were one sperm fertilises the egg. In our case Jays swimmers can't even mange that, useless, so they choose the best looking sperm and injected them into all of the eggs.
The worst bit after this is waiting by the phone to hear how your eggs are doing. Even if they get a lot out not all of them are going to thrive. We ended up loosing 6 of this embryos as they just didn't develop like they should.
This is the time all that emotional stress comes, as you worry about the eggs and their development, then that ramps up even further during the transfer and the dreaded two-week wait till that pregnancy test!
The transfer is essentially a breeze in comparison. The hardest thing is you must have a full bladder, so you are lying on a table with your legs in the air desperately holding on why they place the fertilised embryo *well men was a 5 day fertilised egg so it's actually called a blastocyst) back in you! My doctor took 3 attempts to get it in there, he would insert the a catheter through your cervix and you would see little bubbles on the ultrasounds screen and that was the liquid holding the embryo entering your uterus. They check the catheter under a microscope to make sure the embryo left it, and mine bloody didn't. Three times in a row! He said he hadn't had that happen to him in 10 years!!!!! It had me worried but I as just desperate to get to the bathroom before I let go on in the examine room! I went and had acupuncture after the transfer as that's meant to help it "stick" and continue to develop in you. But other than instructions to not get really hot, as embryos don't like heat, so no intense physical activity, baths or spas you are told to do whatever makes you feel comfortable. If thats lay on a couch and rest that fine, but if you want to get back to work or do what you usually do in your day-to-day life then that is fine too. Walking around and doing normal daily activities won't make the egg not implant into your uterine wall. So don;t worry, you don't have to lay with your legs in the air and seeing on bed pans like they did with IVF in the 80s!
So that's that, this was the post on the in's and out's on IVF in our case. I wrote about my journey and all the feelings that came with it here, but after so many requests thought it would be good to share the stuff you can't read in a brochure. I hope it helps!
Nuggets 1st Birthday Video
My last post about settling into twin life was rather heavy, it was a tough one to write and I had put it off for ages. But it's done now and the response to all of the blog posts, regarding bringing the Nuggets into the world, have been so overwhelming. I really appreciate you emailing, commenting, messaging and snapchatting your kind words. I'm so gald my story resonated with so many of you, strangley even, people without kids! It's amazing the different lessons tht can be learnt out of other peoples expeiences. Now because the whole getting pregnant, pregnancy, birthing saga was so dramatic, tough, scary and a bit of a downer I wanted to end on a happy note. The boys 1st birthday party, becuase it was awesome and such a happy day after such a tough year!
I mentioned at the end of the last post how we held a really big party to celebrate making it through the first year, it was as much of a party for us, the village it took to raise these boys and our families as it was for them.
A fellow twin mum friend has a small company that captures the magic of these big milestone birthdays and she made a little video of the boys party. It's so nice looking back on it and it is footage we will treasure forever!
So here it is, step into the Nuggets 1st birthday for a few minutes...enjoy!
P.S child to adult ration is way out! Think we had 10 sets of twins and one set of triplets! All my friends just couldn't get over how many little ones were there!
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Settling Into Twin Life
Leaving the hospital with twins in tow left me so relived, relieved I got to start normal life at home with my babies, relived to settle into life as a fully fledged family of four, relived to be able to sleep in the same bed as my husband, have home comforts and hopefully start falling in love and bonding big time with these babies who kind of bewildered me at that time! Basically I was desperate to leave (read my last hospital blog post here) and be done with NICU/PIN, but in reality I had no idea what I was really in for in the coming days, weeks or months...or when my fucking soul destroying vomiting would finish. Before I dive deep into this next blog, I just want to say that I know my last three blog posts; Pregnancy, My Birth Pt 1 & My Birth Pt2 have scared some people, especially those expecting twins. I just want to preface all of this that my pregnancy wasn't normal! Whilst being ill in the first trimester is common, it's not actually "normal" to be sick the entire time that's why Hyperemesis Gravdium is an illness. It fucking sucks, like it literally sucks the life out of you, I hated being pregnant. But please don't stress if you have just found out you are pregnant with twins that this will be what you will have to face too. You may, but more people won't than will. Also the whole difficult birth and not bonding thing...thats something I know a lot of people are scared about. Please don't let my experience scare you, I write about how I was feeling as I personally found I never heard anyone have an experience like mine. Which in turn made my difficulties bonding that much harder, I felt alone, like a failure, a bad mum and person all rolled into one. I'm writing about these experiences in the hope that I help even just one person realise that IS normal, you aren't a bad mum or any of the above if you don't instantly fall head over heels in love with your child. It can take time and that is FINE, trust me. So I'm sorry if those posts or what I'm about to cover does freak you out. It's not my intention, I just want to share, because by sharing these experiences we can all feel connected and realise that the feelings we are battling aren't uncommon. They are what make you human after all, we need to feel, even if it feels like it isn't the "right" feelings.
So where was I? Leaving hospital was scary but super exciting as it was our first steps back into normality, or our "new normal". We were warned the boys may be unsettled at home first as it would be quiet where they were used to a bright, busy and noisy hospital room. I hadn't done much reading on routines or books on what to do with a newborn, I just had the info I had been told in birthing class, by my midwives and from friends. I knew that I wanted the boys to learn how to self settle in a cot and that I should demand feed them to start with. I was super strict about not letting them always fall asleep on our chests as I didn't want them getting used to that while Jay was on leave and then in two weeks time leave me with two bloody babies that wanted to sleep on me 24/7. Wasn't happening on my watch!
Certain details are a bit of a blur in those first few weeks as I was still being sick once we got home. So much so that I had to take my newborn twins to the local A&E only two days after we got home, as I had pretty much not managed to keep anything down since we left the hospital. I was sitting on the couch, trying to breast feed all the while suddenly needing to de latch babies, throw (well not quite throw) them to Jay to hang my head over the toilet. I didn't want to expose my little prem men to all the bugs at A&E but I knew I could be there for a long time and I was exclusively BF and hadn't managed to pump enough milk off to feed them. In fact they hadn't even had a bottle yet. That was the main reason I went to A&E, I was super paranoid my milk would be compromised by the lack of food and liquids. ANNNNYWAY, I ended up spending a good 4 hours at A&E hooked up to multiple IV bags, all the while trying to breast feed the little dudes. It was misery, I as crying and in so much pain. The iv line hurt my arm and it was in the crook, so trying to hold the boys while BF made it worse. IV bags tend to make me freezing too, all the cold saline entering your veins . So I'm cold, in pain and trying to manage feeding two hungry, crying and un-settled babies in a curtained off cubicle for 4 hours. Not to mention I was exhausted and desperate to sleep. It sucked! Lucky the IV bags seemed to do the trick, it got me on the level enough that I could eat small things and over the next week that awful vomiting stopped. So finally, 2.5 weeks post birth I was done with being really aquainted with the toilet bowl.
We had our baby photo shoot for Woman's Day after a week at home, the boys were petty good and slept most of the time. I remember doing the interview and talking about how awesome the boys were and shedding a little tear. They wrote how I was emotional out of love and happiness during the interview, but in reality I was crying because everything I was saying didn't entirely match up. I felt like a fraud but I couldn't tell Jay let alone Woman's Day how I was feeling! I loved my kids because I knew they were something Jay and I created, but I wasn't in love with them yet and to be honest I didn't really like them yet, they were so demanding and I was still recovering and just so exhausted from everything. So far they hadn't added anything amazing to our lives like everyone said they would, they were in brutal honesty, being a big pain in the ass and I often called them "tiny little assholes" (hey sometimes I still do, but only when they are being very naughty). There were some serious moments of why did I want to do this again? When I read that article it makes me so sad, I look happy and I was I guess, but I really was playing the doting in love mum when in reality that wasn't how I was feeling. I went through all the motions, attended to every cry, cuddled them, told them I loved them but I knew it was all out of what I was meant to be doing instead of really wanting to. It's a very sad and hard time to think about.
After Jay went back to work my mum who wasn't working at the time came to help during the weekdays - and thank god, I couldn't have done it without her help! The boys had clicked into their collic and reflux stage (not that we had it diagnosed yet) and screamed constantly. They slept at most 40 minutes but often only 20 and then pretty much cried the entire wake time unless being held, but often that didn't work either. I remember mum being so shocked with how "hard" they were, not the sleepy child out newborns my brother and I and most babies are. We had borrowed a bassinet from a friend and I remember she put them both in their one day when they were crying, she was walking around swinging and rocking it by the handles trying to get them to quiet down to no avail. It was physically and emotionally draining both of us.
Once they were out of hospital they were on a two hourly fading schedule and they kept it for 16 weeks, day and night!! They never stretched their feeds out over night. It was gruelling! Every time I brought it up to a professional they said it was normal, maybe it is, but it was the worst thing for my mental health at the time and could have done with some advice on how to stretch their feeds out as everything I tried didn't work. I'm big on having my own space so having babies attached to both of my breasts pretty much all day and night was pretty intense for me. I just wanted a few hours each day that I could have a little bit of a physical "bubble" around me but that didn't happen. It could take an hour to tandem feed the twins and then an hour later they would want to be back on there again. Seriously? The night was the worst, you would finish feeding and go back to sleep for about 40 minutes if that. I would hear them cry again and wake up in a panic that I had fallen asleep with them in bed and that they were already on my chest. The 40 minutes naps throughout the night seriously felt like minutes. I was a zombie and Jay was really tired too as he helped me with the feeds at night. I'm so lucky to have a supportive husband who got up at every feed with me, I know a lot of dads don't but Jay saw that as an important thing he could do to help make my life easier where possible. The boys would wake, I would sit up and get my feeding pillow on/set up and he would bring the babies in one by one and help me position them in my tandem feeding position. He would then get back into bed and sleep, I would wake him once they were finished and we would both burp them. Jay would check/change their nappies and place them back in bed. If they needed settling then we would both get up and help them get back to sleep. It was a good little routine and I can't imagine surviving those first 16 weeks with 2 hourly feeding without him.
I was crying a lot at home and Jay was making small murmurings about being worried I had post natal depression, but I of course wrote it off saying it was normal and that I was just tired. I didn't want to tell him how I wasn't bonding as I felt like a failure and if you know me, I don't like to fail at anything! I'm quite stubborn. Typical Leo!
I remember the first time I really opened up to anyone about it was my friend Aja. She had a baby the same time as me and spent two weeks in NICU with me as her baby girl was in the cot next to the boys too. I guess I felt more comfortable sharing it with her as she understood the NICU side of things. I went for a coffee date at her house and remember bursting into tears when I spoke about the boys and how hard I found it. It was nice to let a bit of emotion out but I definitely didn't explain myself fully. I actually found it really hard to explain just how bad things were to anyone because, you wouldn't believe it...the few times we did go to mum catch ups with my friends the boys were pretty good. No more grizzly than your average baby! I think they all thought I was over exaggerating, or just couldn't comprehend it because they hadn't seen it yet.
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Ah the crying, all day every day! This is at I think about a level 4 out of 10 with how they could get.
At 10 weeks someone finally said we should see a doctor about the crying and the vomiting. The boys were power chucking after meals and even an hour or two after one. No one previously had been worried about reflux as you usually don't put on weight when its bad, but my guys had been putting on 250-400g a week! I may have been having a hard time but apparently my milk was pure cream! But considering they had been feed two hourly 24/7 they bloody well should have been putting on weight! We went to Dr Liang and he diagnosed them both with Reflux and Collic. We were given Losec and a muscle relaxant we could give for the Collic. I think things got a little better over the next few weeks but nothing drastic that made me think either drug was working.
During all this poor Jay wasn't getting a look in, I couldn't give the boys what they needed emotionally, look after myself and give him the love and affection he needed either. I felt like I was pulled in a million different directions and just wanted to hide in a room by myself. I know some people may be reading this and thinking I need to suck it up, crying babies, no sleep, being covered in all sorts of liquids is normal when you have a new baby. I get that, but this was bad and I was falling apart emotionally. I was caring for the boys perfectly well and they essentially were thriving in the terms that they were gaining weight, were healthy other than the reflux etc but I was not thriving, I felt like my light was slowly been put out! It really didn't help when I would mention to people how hard it was and they would just say my boys were beautiful, amazing a blessing etc. I knew all that, but I felt like my feelings weren't being recognised and that in turn made it even harder for me to share them. It was very frustrating! I had some moments where I had to put the boys in their cot and walk outside for 5 minutes as their incessant screams had me at breaking point. It was like torture, I swear when they are really grizzly now and have a bad day and cry a lot its like I go straight back to that time when they were little. It's like post traumatic stress disorder, I instantly tense up and feel sick. It's an ongoing battle I have trying to calm myself, breathe and realise I'm not in that space anymore. One day while my mum was away on holiday my Plunket nurse came for a home visit and the boys were screaming and had ben for hours, I was a wreck with bloodshot and swollen eyes from crying just as much as them. I even have memories of yelling back at them and screaming "I can scream louder than you, shut up!". Not my finest moments and make me very sad when I think back on them. Luckily I had an amazing Plunket nurse and she arrange for a nice lady from some public service (can't remember what one) to come watch boys for 4 hours while I slept one day. Thanks Barbara!
At 18 weeks everything came to a head, I was in a Plunket visit and mum was there helping. They ask you all these questions like what is your baby doing, does he smile, at you, do you play blah blah blah and I just burst into tears and pretty much bawled. Ah this makes me cry writing this. I finally admitted that was a walking zombie and was having a really hard time bonding, I admitted I didn't think I loved my children because all I could think about was them screaming at me, constantly needing to be feed, vomiting all over me and them not sleeping. I was an emotional, exhausted, wreck and a bit of a shell of who I was. During my meltdown I could see the look of shock on my mums face, she had been with me every day and had no idea. I had done a really good job of playing the part obviously. It was agreed mum would take the boys for a few days so I could rest and talk about how I was feeling with Jay and just generally try to see if getting some rest would make me feel better. It was really nice to have a few days to myself and to sleep! I even went for a ride with Jay on his motorbike, something we used to love doing together pre babies. It did help me feel a little better as I wasn't so tired anymore, but I almost felt worse that my mum could look after my babies for 48hours herself where I was still too scared to do that/ didn't think I could cope on my own like that yet. You can't win right?
As I have mentioned before I'm a battler, so I got stuck back into parenting and did my best to look like I was doing well. I remember taking my first trip with the boys out of the house by myself, getting them in capsules, clipping them in, going to a mall and setting up the pram and getting them all in there. I was super proud as when I had given birth I was petrified of ever having to get out of the house with them by myself and had no idea how I could even manage it! It seemed so scary, which is funny looking back on that now as it's just part of life and something I don't even think about being an issue anymore. I was definitely starting to bond with the boys and that was getting better daily, but I still was filled with anxiety and questioned how good at this whole parenting thing I was. I felt a disconnect between me and my new life as a mum. Jay finally spoke to someone who had suffered PND and she recommended I talk to a therapist who specialised in the area. I started seeing her and she recommended I start taking anti depressant's, I don't know why but I didn't feel comfortable taking them. I know they help so many people but I wanted to see how I felt after seeing her for a little longer before going down that route. I saw the therapist for 6 weeks and it really made a huge difference to my mental health. She said I was suffering post natal situational distress and anxiety rather than depression from a chemical inbalance. Basically all of this was happening because motherhood hadn't lived up to what it should've in my head, first was the emergency birth, the hospital stay, being so sick still, and then babies that were un well and screamed all day. She told me it was perfectly normal to not bond straight away with a tiny human who just took from you all day as well as screamed in your face the entire time. Having someone validate my feelings, help me see them from a different view point and make me realise I'm not crazy made me feel so much better, just having someone sympathise and understand instead of instantly trying to turn it around into a positive like "well aren't you lucky to have two beautiful babies" and other comments like that helped so much. She taught me it was OK to only be slowly falling in love and bonding with my babies. I knew now this was going to be a slow burn and I was ok with that. I now knew that it was actually normal to feel this way and many mothers do. It's not all rainbows and lollipops like some mothers feel (lucky them!) and that one day I would wake up and realise my heart is so full with love that I wouldn't be able to remember quite how it felt to not love them. I was going to be alright and I realised with her help that talking about it made me feel so much better. I finally felt strong enough to share with people my dirty secrets like not liking my children, feeling like I was failing and that I wasn't going to survive this mother hood gig. I got such an outpouring of love and support it was amazing. If only I did this earlier?
It's funny because as soon as I told people how I was really doing then everyone stepped up their game to support me and they suddenly really saw what I had been talking about, they were tough work. My mum went away on holiday so my friends would come help often, especially my friend Jamie who would come most afternoons to help me with witching hours, I was so grateful and it was really amazing for their bond as they love her so much as they spent a lot of time together. Whenever Julia came over for Sydney she would get up in the mornings with them to give us sleep ins. My friend Emma came over with her mother in law one time and the boys were just upset and crying the whole time, I ditched the kids with them for ten minutes so I could hang all my washing up outside. I came back in and you could really see the reality of what my day-to-day life had dawned upon them. It was nice for people to finally see and understand why I had been in a tailspin.
By the time the boys hit 6 months a lot of the reflux and colic symptoms had started to dwindle, thank the fucking lord/higher power/ energy whatever you want to call it. They still were waking a few times a night and were adamant cat nappers ( even Dorothy Waide couldn't crack them to make them slip longer than 40 minutes!) but I was learning to deal with it. We even managed to take a family trip to America to visit my brother and Grandma who lives in San Diego, the boys travelled super well and there weren't too many meltdown moments on the trip. My mum even watched the boys overnight so we could go stay in a hotel alone and have some time out together. Dreamy. Have you worked out by now how amazing my mum is?
I think by 6 months I was really starting to bond with the boys and my heart was slowly being filled to the brim with love for them. Gosh it was such a relief to wake up and feel that one day. It's what I had been waiting for since I was pregnant and felt that disconnect / anger at them for making me feel so awful.
6 months to a year we got the hang of our new schedule, I was coping much better and really loving being a twin mum after all that shit we went through in the first 6 months of their lives. The boys started sleeping through at 10 months, although they were and still are early risers. I actually think I started nailing it, I was on top of everything, the boys were happier as they weren't in as much pain anymore, I was getting out of the house and managing to catch up with my friends. Life was good. It's funny how feeling like I was doing a great job really helped with my mental health, I was suddenly confident in my self, my abilities and my parenting. I have a very relaxed style to parenting now and I think that is what helped me get through everything in the end. The only thing I'm strict about is nap time/bed time routine, otherwise I am very go with the flow. It made life easier being able to let go of the little things when something went wrong or not to plan, which lets face it, always happens with twins! Hitting that one year milestone was the best, we had a big party to celebrate as we wanted to celebrate their lives but also thank all the people it took to get us to that point. We also wanted a bit of a night out to congratulate ourselves too. It was such a special day and I couldn't believe how far we had come as a family unit. I always say if their were cracks that were going to show in my relationship with Jay it would have been during that first year, and none did. We never had a big fight about everything that was going on, and Jay was pretty good about me wanting my own space after the boys went to bed at night. I was just so sick of having two people cling to me all day that by 7pm I wanted to sit on the couch and not have another much larger human wanting to cling to me too. Poor Jay got bugger all sex that first year. I know he felt neglected and intimacy is what makes him feel loved, but I just couldn't get my mojo back for a long time, it was the last thing I wanted and actually made me feel really un comfortable, and to be honest, it's not the same it was pre pregnancy even now! Sorry babe! But we are so good. We have such a great foundation and those tough times really made us realise we can handle anything together, as long as we tackle it as a team. I'm a very lucky woman to have a man like Jay, he seriously is one of a kind. Ask any of my friends and they know he is a really special man.
So that's that, a small (seriously I know this seems long but there are so many other ups and downs I could write about, but don't want to bore you all!) snap shot of us settling into twin life. I didn't cover too much about breastfeeding, sleep training, learning to settle babies and all of that nitty gritty stuff, as it would make this the longest post ever. So I will save that for their own posts if that is something you would like to read about? Comment below with anything you really want me to cover/know about and I will try and blog about them for you.
Thanks for reading these stories about my IVF journey, pregnancy, birth, hospital stay and our new normal life with twins. It's been really hard to re-live and lots of tears have been shed over my keyboard, but It was great to get it all down and share that having a hard time, like I did, is normal too. Don't worry, you will get there! I look at my boys today and I could just about cry with how much I love them, when at the start I could cry with how much I didn't feel that bond. So chin up, keep on doing what you are doing, talk to your loved ones and you too will wake up one day and everything would have changed for the better.
Shopping For My Nuggets
Online "shop-a-holic"- a phrase often used by my husband in regards to my spending habits. I hate to admit it (I never do to him, I’m not crazy!) but I have to tell you, my lovely readers, the truth, I’m very much guilty. Now not to lay the blame on anyone…but my dad is a pilot who regularly flies to LA, meaning he has been my online shopping mule for stores that don’t deliver to NZ, but can be sent direct to his hotel reception. So basically, the ease of having access to those items I didn’t otherwise have, has spurred on my addiction. Dad, it’s all your fault!
The amount of clothing, nappies, homewares and bits and bobs he has brought home for me over the years has been epic. Since the arrival of the Nuggets it has been even handier. We have had hundreds of nappies, wipes, my beloved Baby Brezza formula machine and oh so many cute outfits! Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE New Zealand labels and supporting NZ owned businesses. Take one look at mine or the boys’ Instagram and you will see we/they are often dressed in clothing from NZ brands and a lot of them are small businesses run by stay-at home mamas. So don’t come at me for not supporting what we have here in NZ!
I often get asked where I get the boys clothing from and when it’s from brands overseas that don’t ship here, I am often met with disappointment. Which is exactly what I am facing come November; you see once you turn 65, pilots are no long allowed to fly into UK and USA airspace as a Captain! Which means, shock horror, my dad will be changing his plane so he no longer flies to the UK and US. I have been dreading this for years! #firstworldproblems
Lucky for me I have a backup plan…I had heard about YouShop from NZ Post but hadn’t checked it out or taken much notice of it since I had my own personal international courier. A recent gap in dads roster meant there was a good 2-months break between his trips to LA and I had some items waiting in my Zara cart that I wanted to push go on. Since I needed to figure out how I could still keep shopping from my favourite online stores who shun us Kiwis by not delivering here, this was the perfect time to trial YouShop.
I thought it would all be a bit complicated, but it wasn’t. YouShop sign up was super easy! You input all your details and it gives you your own “US address”. Easy as that! You use this address for your shipping address when you input your details during checkout. I bought a leather jacket for myself and two parkas for the boys. I had been looking for some cool army green parkas for a while but hadn’t had any luck here. So when I spied these I had to have them! They have a little badge on the arm and the interior has removable lining. So they are nice and warm for winter but as it gets warmer I can remove the lining so it is just a shell. Perfect!
I knew this package was going to be a bit bulky with three jackets, so I was a bit wary of what the YouShop shipping costs were going to be. I tracked my Zara package and it showed it delivered fine to my “US address”, I then got an email a day later saying it had arrived at the warehouse and had been re packed to make posting more economical along with a link to pay for shipping; all up mine was $30, which included the repackaging fee. I think $30 was a fair price, especially since Zara shipping was free inside the US. Previously when I have shopped from international stores that ship to NZ the price is often around the $40-$50 mark, so $30 was a much better deal. I did note you can work out your shipping fee before you purchase something too, so if you have any heavier or larger items I recommend doing that before you buy it so you know what you are up for. After I had paid I got alerts from all the following stages; item has left warehouse, left US, landed in NZ, cleared customs and finally, item has been delivered! Shipping took 7 days from when I first got the alert it had arrived at the warehouse. So, while it’s not the fastest it isn’t too long to wait for your goodies.
The boys are always super excited when parcels arrive; they know to go get a knife from the drawer to open them. A sign far too many parcels arrive at this house…that and the fact our couriers know us very well by now! The package had tape on it saying it had been repacked; they had kept all necessary things from the original packaging such as receipts and even a few flyers Zara had sent. The clothing was still in its plastic packaging and had been wrapped again with tissue paper. It was nice to see they had taken good care of the items, as I would have been disappointed if it had been just chucked in a box before being sent off again.
My verdict, this is definitely going to be my go to once my private courier stops visiting LA. I will have to be more particular in what I am buying, as now I have to pay shipping costs too, but it’s definitely still worth it for those items you just can’t get here! It’s nice to have access to items that are a little bit different to what you can buy here.
Now where do I shop? There are heaps of stores, but the one I visit the most for the boys and myself, is Zara. They have great on trend pieces, that are good quality and not too harsh on the wallet. Especially when our Kiwi dollar is strong against the greenback! I buy all of the boys footed PJs from Carters, they are made from such nice cotton, have non slip soles and footed PJs up to a size 7! If you have kids like mine that like to wriggle out from under their blankets, having footed PJs is always reassuring knowing they won’t be getting cold. But have you tried finding footed PJs in over a size 2? Mission! Bonds do a size 3 but I have never found any bigger than that! So thanks, Carters! A few other places to check out: GAP (this is where we got our cute yellow rain jackets the boys have been sporting on Instagram), Old Navy have great clothes at GREAT prices! I buy a lot from here in the opposite season in the boys next size up (American stores are always in opposite season to us), Ralph Lauren have epic sales which make the clothes surprisingly affordable - sounds weird but the best socks I have bought for the boys are their ankle socks from here, they stay on, was well and have non slip bottoms their t-shirts are also greta staples, Target, Walmart, Nordstrom, Forever21, J Crew, Anthropologie, Urban Outfitters and Foot Locker. A few of these companies do ship to NZ; Carters, Gap and Old Navy for example, but YouShop's shipping is actually cheaper than their international shipping. So I would go with them to save yourself a few extra bucks.
Try out YouShop before July 31st and use my discount code ANNA10 to receive 10% off your shippings costs.
Happy shopping everyone!
SPONSORED BY NZ POST
Nuggets Take Dome
Travelling is something Jay and I loved to do before we were parents and that hasn't changed. We did a few trips when the boys were babies, LA to visit my grandma and brother, Queenstown for Jays work and then around the country for a few weddings. But it was definitely a bit more difficult to travel with the Nuggs between 10m-2 years! Finally it seems we have hit the sweet spot, it's not a breeze...but it's much easier to keep them entertained because they can talk now and understand you, which means you can reason with them a bit more. As much as you can reason with a grumpy 2 year old!
This last weekend we took our third trip down to our friends beautiful home, Dome Hills, in central Otago. It really is a slice of heaven, every time I visit I can't get over how beautiful the scenery is. No wonder Dougie managed to steal away my city slicker bestie away to the South Island, this is not the country life you turn down!
The first time we visited Oscar and Hunter were on the tail end of a NASTY gastro bug. I'm talking they pooed all through their car seat on the way to Dome, then leaked through again when we arrived. We let them run around the lawn naked, to help heal their raw butts, then they climbed up on their outdoor furniture whilst still naked. I yelled to Jay they should have a nappy on, two seconds later giant waterfalls of shit explode all over their outdoor seats! The weekend was full of a lot of poo and even a few giant projectile vomits over the carpet. Surprised they ever wanted us back!
This time though, was perfect! The boys are such a great age at the moment. They LOVE animals and bikes so were in heaven driving around the farm on the quad bikes, checking out the horses, pigs, cows, sheep and dogs. I have to say, as much as I am a born and breed, city slicker Aucklander, I could totally see myself living somewhere like Dome. What an amazing place to live, not to mention how incredible it must be for children to grow up with all that space, animals and learning opportunities. My only thing I would be worrying about is feeling disconnected from day-to-day life and being lonely. Which is something I imagine my friend Sarah felt.
Sarah and her friend Bex created a Facebook page called Young Rural Ladies to create a community where woman leading this unique lifestyle could connect. It has taken off and they have their own website, you can check it out here. I love it, it has amazing content that's relevant to young women even if they aren't living rurally. So make sure you check it out! Sarah designed the site herself and has such an eye for design (well she is an interior designer after all) so there are plenty of collections of swoon worthy images to lust after.
Twins...Lucky you!
"Double trouble" "You must be busy" "You have your hands full" are just some of the things strangers like to say when you are out and about with twins. It REALLY irks a lot of twin mums as they rightly feel they are blessed to have them. The thing is lots of mums of multiples see these comments as a really negative and insensitive thing to say to someone. I'm ok with it, mostly because I usually think the person is well-meaning or making a bit of a joke, so I don't let it bother me. But over the past two years it is something I have heard almost daily while out and about. For the first time since they were born someone said something that made my heart sing. I was at St Lukes with the boys doing a bit of shopping and realised I needed to grab a few things from the supermarket. I usually try to avoid the supermarket with the boy as they get bored sitting in the trolley and have a thing about wanting to throw everything I choose into the back of the trolley. But needs must so I headed to Countdown. I was in the checkout line and the boys definitely weren't being angels. Hunter was tired and grumpy and Oscar was whining (I hate whinging) and was trying to touch everything within arms reach at the checkout. Seriously whats with all the lollies and brightly wrapped packages at trolley seat hight!? I just wanted to get them in the car and home before they went into meltdown mode.
It was my turn for checkout and the lady behind the counter looked at me, clocked my boys who were currently fighting ver who got to hold my wallet and gave me the biggest smile ever and said "Oh wow, twins?" In my head I though oh here comes the "double trouble" but she just continued "aren't you so lucky". I was floored, I think I am lucky to have my precious boys but not in their two years has a stranger ever told me that or said something really positive about twins. I was blown away, it instantly made me smile and made my day. It was such a nice reminder of how a small gesture or a few kind words can have such a great effect on someone and totally change their day or mood. I can't believe it took two whole years to experience a moment like this! She then continued to talk to the boys and told me multiple times "You're doing a great job mama". It seriously brings tears to my eyes now typing this. It was such a lovely thing to hear at the end of a long day. Because, and I think ALL parents can relate to this, you can't help but let that doubt occasionally creep in that maybe you aren't doing a great job, you could play more with them, read more, forget about the housework and focus on them! It's nice to be reminded that you are doing a great job, because sometimes us mums don't give ourselves enough credit. I wish I got her name so I could write to Countdown and tell them what an awesome employee they have, but it totally skipped my mind to get it. I will be on the lookout for her next time we visit!
So please, next time you see a mum of twins resist that urge to make the "double trouble" joke, not all of us are offended by it, but you could literally make someones day if you tell them how lucky they are! Because we are, twins are very special and we were lucky to be chosen to be their mamas #blessed ;)